The Grass Is Always Yellow on Promaglyon 3

Lunch

Chapter Three.

Max stabbed his meat cake with the titanium nanofork. He chewed slowly and thoughtfully.

"It... Reminds me of..."

"Of?"

"Grade school."

"What?"

"School lunch."

"Ok."

Max looked out the window as he ate. He saw a hovercraft drifting aimlessly outside.

"What does that run on?"

"Run?"

"Like fuel. Petrol, gasoline."

"We are a hydrogen economy."

"Ah."

Max tried the salad, which was only marginally better than the meat cake. Then he remembered. He had a packet of M&Ms in his jacket pocket.

"Here. Try one of these."

He handed Alpha a blue M&M, which she cautiously accepted. She put it in her mouth, and remarkable things began to happen. First, her nanobots decided it was a crisis situation, and immediately flooded to her stomach, and then she began to have an orgasm of sorts. Her eyes rolled back in her head, and she shuddered. Max felt aroused and alarmed. Alpha sighed and shook her now plain blonde hair. Max thought it was more beautiful than ever.

"How does your hair do that?"

"Do what?

"Change colour."

"My nanos. They're microscopic, and they lock onto the outer hair shaft. They change colour according to certain signals."

"Why aren't they doing that now?"

"Whatever you just gave me is a foreign substance. It triggers them to investigate."

"So... They're... In your stomach? Now?"

"I believe so."

"Oh."

Max had a thing for Alpha, but he began to long for his cubicle, a phenomenon he had never experienced before.

"So, your name is Alpha?"

"Yes. Well, not my name of course, but you know."

"Then what is it?"

"My rank."

"Rank?"

"Hai. If you were born in alpha quadrant, you're alpha. If you're born in beta quadrant, you're beta. Your birth month is next. I was born in Kwwern, so six. And for individual identification purposes, everyone is assigned a different archaic word."

"So that's why you're turnip."

"Yes. Could you tell me... do you know what it means?"

"Er, well...," began Max.

"Perhaps it's a beautiful flower?"

"Well, they can have flowers I suppose-"

"Or maybe a colour, or- or a dessert!"

"It's a pointy vegetable."

Alpha stared disappointedly into Max's eyes.

"Have you ever had one? Are they delicious?"

Max hated turnips. He hated them so much, that, in fact, he once skipped school in fifth grade because lunch that day was turnip casserole.

"Incredibly so."

Her countenance resumed some of it's previous light, and she ate her meat cake in a tidy, hurried fashion.

"What is your rank?"

"Mine?," asked Max.

"Hai."

"Well, uhm, technically it's IT professional.

"IT?"

"Information technology. So do you have a name? Or just a rank?"

"Of course I have a name."

"What is it?", asked Max innocently.

"Excuse me!"

"What?!"

"I'm not that kind of rytttleh!"

"I have NO idea what you are talking about! I just asked your name!"

"Our names are very sacred. You must be family to know one's name."

"I apologize," said Max.