Where We Begin

Chapter 49 - I See Love In Your Eyes

Dec 14th, 2002 - Busta

After making a quick pit stop, I pedaled home as fast as I could manage with my shopping bags hanging off my handlebars. I dropped it all in the garage and burst into the kitchen. Luckily, both my mom and Aunt Ivy were there. They were startled by my explosive entrance and Ivy almost dropped the bottle of sparkling wine she was holding.

"Busta, whoa!" she exclaimed. "Where are you coming from in such a hurry?"

"The mall... Christmas gifts... got an idea..." I had to lean on the island to try to catch my breath. Now that I stopped moving for a minute, I got a sharp cramp in my stomach.

"Well, while you relax for a second, I have some great news," my mom said, beaming. "The house in Chicago sold!"

Ivy popped the cork on the champagne, letting it fizz over the top for effect. "Woo hoo!"

"Hey! Really?! That's amazing!"

"Yes, completely amazing" my mom reiterated. "The timing couldn't be better, right before the holidays. It's such a weight lifted off of me. I'm done borrowing money and playing catch up!"

"Great timing," I agreed, as she walked over and gave me a hug. She was so happy, she didn't even seem to mind how sweaty I was. 

"Oh Busta," she sighed into my ear. "I was worried there for a while, but now it finally feels like we can close that chapter and really move forward."

"I guess this means California is officially our home," I smiled. "Cowabunga, totally tubular... see, I'm a full-fledged local."

Ivy and my mom laughed and turned their attention back to the bottle of champagne.

"Enough chat, we need to have a toast. Maybe Busta should be allowed to have a little, since it is a special occasion." Ivy said with a wink.

I shook my head. "Actually, before anyone gets into that, I have a favor to ask. I need a ride over to Green St."

My mom looked confused. "What for?"

"There's this old guy with a car for sale in his driveway. I see it all the time on the way to school, and I just stopped and talked with him on the way here. We agreed on a price, I have the cash, but he said he felt more comfortable signing the papers over if an adult was with me."

My mom and Ivy looked at each other and back to me, surprised. 

"You want to buy a car? Tonight?" My mom was eyeing the open bottle. "Does it really have to be tonight? Can't we celebrate one thing before the other?"

I clasped my hands together in a pleading gesture. "Please mom, I need this car before tomorrow." 

"Tomorrow, huh? Isn't that when Taylor gets back?" Ivy asked as she poured a glass, one eyebrow raised high. "Sounds like you're making some plans."

"Yes. Plans that rely completely on me getting this car."

My mom shrugged and grabbed her purse off the counter. "Don't drink the whole bottle," she said to her sister. 

"There is another one in the wine fridge," Ivy replied with a sly smile. 

After a car ride of me profusely thanking my mom, we got to the house on Green St and talked to Mr Weitzman about his used Honda. My mom had a lot of questions about the not-so pristine looking vehicle and insisted on driving it around the block, but ultimately she said it was my money that I worked for, and the deal was done. A little while later, after some signatures and handshakes, I was driving my very own car back home.

Ivy was still in the kitchen when we got back, along with Buddy who was holding his nose and drinking a glass of water. 

"What's going on?" my mom asked.

"Ivy gave (hic) me a sip of her (hic) champagne," Buddy replied with a red face. "I can't stop (hic) hiccuping."

Ivy swatted his arm. "I thought we weren't going to mention that."

My mom pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

"Just one sip, Marie, like mom used to give us on the holidays. And hey, he hated it, so consider this a favor," Ivy said, handing her a glass. She turned to me. "So? How's the new car?"

"Rusty. Loud. Kinda stinky... I love it," I grinned.

"Congratulations. So, now do we get to hear what this big secret mission is for tomorrow?"

I hesitated at first, but figured, what the hell? I told my family the whole plan. Buddy was fairly unimpressed, in true little brother form, but my mom and aunt were teary-eyed by the end.

"Uh, so, what do you think?"

My mom dabbed at the corner of her eye with her thumb. "Oh honey. I think that I can't believe this is my sweet, goofy little baby, all grown up and in love."

"Aw jeez, mom..."

"Really. I'm just so happy that you are happy," she continued, looking at Buddy, Ivy and back to me. "I forgot what it was like to be a happy family. I'm so thankful to you, Ivy, for helping me pick up the pieces. And I'm so thankful for my boys. There's no greater gift then seeing the two of you grow up to be such incredible young men, despite everything."

She pulled the two of us in for a hug. 

"We love you, mom," I said, Buddy agreeing.

"I love you both too. But Busta, can we talk just the two of us for a minute?"

Ivy didn't need to be asked twice to shuffle herself and Buddy out to the living room. My mom sat down at the kitchen table and motioned for me to come over.

"I'm going to be very honest with you," mom started, looking like she was trying to gather the right words. "When we first moved here, I was scared for you. You were so angry and withdrawn, and I blamed myself for not getting us out of Chicago sooner. I was scared that the damage that your..." she paused took a deep breath. "That your father did was going to be permanent. That you might end up going down a dark path and, uh... I'm sorry, this is hard."

I took her hand. "You were scared I was going to end up like him." I sighed, trying not to get too emotional. "I was too. Sometimes I still feel myself getting angry. I try to keep it in, but it feels like I'm holding back a tidal wave of all those times I had to swallow my tongue and put on a brave face for Buddy and take the hits. I... I punched a kid once when I couldn't control it, and it scared the shit out me. But Taylor, she calmed me down. She's like my anchor."

"I will never forgive myself. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to have two sons who could come out of that situation so strong," she sobbed, her eyes full of tears and shame. "But I see you now, and how much you care about Taylor, and most importantly, how you treat her. I see how big your heart is. I see love in your eyes. Your father... he never had that."

Even though I was crying now too, I couldn't help but smile. "Even if you don't forgive yourself, I do. Maybe there's a reason we came here when we did and not earlier. Yeah, things sucked. Really sucked. But whatever happened back then doesn't matter anymore, because I really am happy here. I have friends and a job and a girlfriend who's so amazing that I still expect someone to pop out at any moment and tell me I'm on Candid Camera. And most importantly, I know you and Buddy are safe and happy too."

My mom brought my hand she was holding up to her cheek, closed her eyes and smiled. "I love you so much. I got so lucky."

"I love you too, mom."

She let go of my hand. "OK, enough tears for tonight. You should be getting to work on your idea for Taylor."

After the long talks, I almost forgot about how much I had to do. I jumped up and kissed my mom on the cheek. "You're the best ever," I proclaimed as I headed upstairs to make some phone calls.