Secret Seduction

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                My life has always been planned. From the time I was born, there's been a set of rules that grew on me. Number one being family always came first. If it wasn't family, it wasn't important.

Two, commitment was a procedure that you had to follow thoroughly with self-discipline. I was told that when I found my wife, nothing should keep me from committing to her if I really loved her. Starting the day that we willingly engaged in sex, I was making a commitment. And if I wasn't ready for that commitment, I should keep my dick in my pants.

Last but not least, responsibility, meaning that my actions would reflect on the people around me. If I did something out of line, it would be my own responsibility to fix it. That was a common sense rule. I could easily follow it. I wasn't afraid to take up for my own guilt or faults.

By the age of twenty two, my firstborn was on the way. That was my first major responsibility. I struggled with work and college. I may not have been completely satisfied with my life at the time, but I knew I had to do whatever I could to take care of my family. Like I said, family always comes first.

My wife, Carley and I moved to Arizona when our firstborn, Mehil turned three. In Arizona, I found a steady job at a small business which catered to lawn and house care supplies. It just so happened that one year during a meeting, when the business was about to collapse if our product sales didn't go up, I proposed my own plan.

People weren't too happy with my proposal. They complained that long before I came around, the business was doing just fine. I was a "kid" just out of college and soon I would be going back to get my Master's in Business Management. I remember my co-worker, Ferrah, catching a fit and saying that she would quit if everyone was stupid enough to consider my plan.

There's no other way to tell someone that their ass is going to be out of a job, except for telling them in those exact words. So I told Ferrah bluntly and the oval table of co-workers were surprised at me. I wasn't the type to go off at anyone, unless they severely needed it. Ferrah, was no exception to the surprise that in a matter of words, she dropped down in her seat with a 'We're all going down'.

Three months later the sales skyrocketed, the business bounced to one of the top businesses in the State and my promotion was fairly profitable. Carley could have a part time job and still take care of Mehil. I worked full time, making sure that we were stable and shortly after we called Arizona, home.

I was working day in and day out so much that I wasn't spending as much time with Carley. It was like my job became a replacement for my spouse. I knew that I was becoming a workaholic. I would come home late at night and Carley would be sleep along with our son and my cold dinner would be waiting in the microwave.

It was very subtle that we had a nice long conversation or a relaxing Sunday together. When we could finally spend time together, we often went to dinner parties and I noticed that she would get dressed in these beautiful gowns but other than that, I was blind to the fact that she was trying to get my attention.

To be honest I thought that I was doing everything right. I thought I was being the perfect husband by her and a great father by my son. Wasn't that all I needed to do for her? Provide and protect? Sex wasn't in the equation because I didn't feel the need to have sex with my wife. I didn't want to accept the fact that rejecting my wife went much deeper into conflict so I told myself that I was just too busy.

It wasn't until the Summer of 2008 that our marriage took a dive. Carley became upset at the slightest things and would become depressed often. Every time that I suggested she go back to California and stay with her parents for awhile, we would break into a big argument, leaving me sleeping on the couch. She screamed and nagged about everything I did or didn't do. She told our son, Mehil lies about me, trying to get him to side with her. She was acting out of character and it was driving me away. She was a fucking nut. My wife, the woman that I had chosen to marry, was crazy. I decided that I didn't have to put up with it.