The Swailing

The Rockies: Enemy

It's Finn.

My breath catches. I don't know whether I should get up and walk away or slap him across the face or call for safeguards to arrest him. While I'm deciding, I close my eyes again and take a deep breath.

"Ember."

I ignore him and focus on my breathing. How did he find me here? But more importantly, why? He has my money. He has my pride. Isn't that enough? What else could he possibly want from me?

"Ember. I'm sorry."

I open my eyes and stare at him for a moment before standing up. I dig in my backpack pocket for my remaining cash and hold it out to him.

"Here. You forgot some."

"Ember--"

I wish he'd stop saying my name in his calm and sincere voice. Before he can go on and offer me some kind of lame and insufficient explanation, I throw the cash at him and start to walk away. My hair flips uncharacteristically and I like the air of defiance it adds. To Finn's credit, he ignores the money on the ground and grabs my arm.

I level a look at him and toss my best calm and sincere voice back at him. "Let go of me or I'll scream."

He drops his hand. "I just want to talk to you."

"About what? Why you stole from me and abandoned me? I know I'm young and naive, but I'm not an idiot. I know better than to listen to you again."

I turn and walk away from him toward the bus, now with no money but at least a little of my pride. Too late, I remember the memory stick. I want to turn back and ask him for it because now I know that it might help me, but I refuse to show any sign of weakness, any sign that I need him for anything. I'll find my mom and brother without it. I climb on the bus and don't allow myself to look back until I am in my seat. When I do look out the window I see Finn walking back to his car. I feel smug and, though I hate to admit it, a little sad at the same time.

When we are back on the bus Sabine gives me her address and tells me to visit her when I get to Prospera.

I thank her and she smiles. "Thank YOU, Ember. It's nice to know that teenage kids can be pleasant and thoughtful for a change."

I've felt so safe with her, and it makes me sad that I'll be on my own again in a couple of hours. She's continuing on, but I only bought a ticket to Denver. Now I realize that, without any money, that might be the end of the line for me. I really should think my actions through once in awhile.

The bus stops one more time, but I see no sign of Finn. Good. I tell myself that's good. I don't need him. I question if I did the right thing with Finn – not the way I treated him (that felt satisfying) but if I should have demanded my money and the memory stick back rather than throwing my last bit of cash at him, too. Pride is sometimes my downfall and I may have just lost my chance of finding my mom and Camden because of it.

When we arrive at the bus station in Denver, I climb down the bus steps and Sabine gathers me in a hug. There is something vaguely familiar about it -- soft and comfortable and I can't help thinking about my mom. My throat is tight when she pulls away. She brushes her hand over my hair.

"Honey, you sure you're okay? Do you need anything?"

My pride makes me shake my head instead of asking her for money. Stupid pride.

"You're gonna' be fine, Ember. When you get to Prospera, you look me up, stay with me for a few days. Okay?"

I nod because I'm afraid I'll cry if I open my mouth.

Sabine looks over my shoulder and then leans closer to me and says, "I think this cutie is checking you out, honey."

Even before I turn to look, I know it's Finn. I am almost disgusted by the way my heart leaps involuntarily. He is watching us from about 15 meters away. I have to say I'm a little impressed by his persistence – I thought my coldness scared him away for good. I just glare at him.

"Really, Finn?"

Sabine gives me a concerned look when she hears my tone. "What's wrong, honey?" She now looks suspiciously at Finn. "Do you know this boy?"

I can't help but smile a bit when she uses the word "boy". Finn cringes.

I nod. "I know him. I don't particularly like him, but I know him."

He takes a few steps closer and holds a small fabric pouch out to me. I assume it has my money and, hopefully, the memory stick inside. Or some kind of peace offering. My hand itches to take it. I almost reach out for it, but force my arm to stay at my side. When I won't take it, he comes closer and gives it to Sabine, who accepts reluctantly.

"I'm sorry," he says simply and, much to my frustration, sincerely.

He turns and walks away from me, towards the exit. I should let that be it. I have my money and the memory stick back. I can be done with him.

But I'm like a dog with a bone sometimes.

"Why?" I call out after him.

He stops and turns around.

I'm not sure what I'm asking him, exactly. Why he took my money in the first place? Or why gave it back?

He doesn't answer but nods his head towards a nearby coffee shop. "Can I buy you a carrot juice?"

For the first time since we were together in Vegas, I let myself crack a smile in his presence.