The Song of a Dead Girl

Poisioned Tounge

So much cautious whispering, like slaps in the face
They don't realize, it hurts more when they try
"They wouldn't do this if they didn't know" she thinks.
Maybe they didn't want her back

A little girl who still believed her father was a hero
Such a long gone, happy memory that it made her want to die
Shaking, screaming, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep
She just needed to drown something, maybe herself

She suffered through her hour of hell with the psychiatrist
Made purposely, unsettlingly calm
Listening to him tell her she'd become suicidally depressed
That was the reason
A simple thing, a common thing

Staying alive meant chasing after nothing and no one because she didn'thave anyone left
Though thats all they wanted
To hear her say she wanted to live
Just another lie in this hell called LIFE.

She's now only a smaller, faded version of herself
Nothing more, maybe less
She kept it all inside, walled herself off from worlds
Still, everyday some new pain found her, stabbed her

She allowed herself to follow her sad mind's wanderings
She listened to the poison on their tongues
Believed almost every word
"Did you think you could swallow those pills and not gut everyone around you?
"You fucking brat!
"Woooowwww! You really are stupid!
"Hurting yourself! You're so selfish!
"You're the world's worst dream come true
"Too bad you failed.
"Its all for attention
"Maybe you're not even suicidal!

Don't listen. They want to make you hate yourself. They want you to give up.
But how do you not listen
When its all you've ever been told

She breaks and breaks and breaks
But she stays
Because what else can she do
To not hurt the ones who don't deserve it
The ones who never deserved it
Never deserved the pain she put them through
Never again would she hurt them
Never again, she promised.

She promises.

I promise.