The Song of a Dead Girl

Finally Telling Him

I've tried to tell you everything wrong with me. I've typed up so many things, I still have them. I saved them. I just couldn't bring myself to send them before. It won't help me. It won't help you. I've tried to talk to you before, and I can't anymore. I'm so scared. Last time I talked to you about all this, I just, I can't go through that again. I know you're just scared and worried, but that doesn't change what you'd said. You just love me too much, and it scares the hell out of you the way I hurt myself,  the way I starve myself, the way I break myself, that's why I stay quiet. It scares you so much, that you, ... , you... hurt me.. without even knowing it..  It's so hard to say, but I've said it hundreds of times. In my messages to you, that I saved, but never sent. I want you to know all of it.  You deserve to. I promised to. I can send you all the messages that I've saved.. but I want to talk to you first.. warn you, ready myself... I just.. I don't know...