Baby for Mr. Blake

Chapter 14

Sunday, 18 June 2017 – Skylar

I was tired. All I wanted to do was sleep, but every now and then I woke up with uncontrollable nausea and vomiting. Joshua would smile secretively each time it happened and I despised it.

I still haven't talked to him or thank him for being there, because I have too many questions. My dreams were no longer filled with beep and the whispering voices, but filled with memories of anguish and despair. My mind is vague with the details, but my heart overflows with the pain.

I filled my days by staring at my surroundings, watching as people moved about. It was as if I was in my own version of a video for the song Mad World with familiar faces, empty faces doing their daily races around me with all of us going nowhere.

I chose not to speak and only used yes and no gestures by nodding my head or using my hands. Joshua was being pleasant and I had no idea what to make of it. I have no idea why he is doing all of this for me and I am already trying to formulate ideas as to how I am going to pay him back.

The nurse finally removed my catheter and I was relieved that I could finally get out of this bed and scrub everything off of me. I was even more relived that she offered a fresh hospital gown for me.

"There is a call button in the bathroom, call for me anytime, and please don't lock the door in case we need to come help you."

With a nod I entered the on-suite bathroom and jumped into the shower as quickly as I could. I scrubbed, cried and screamed as discreetly as possible. I scrubbed and scrubbed until the blood started forming underneath my skin replacing all the yellow bruises.

Still lost in tears and the rains of the shower the vomiting started up again. I feel the loss again of my baby, of his baby, to calm myself my hands run over my bloated stomach a tell sign that my period will soon start and I need to get sanitary pads.

Involuntary the screams stared up again, I felt worthless and dirty.

I must have fallen asleep in the shower because the next thing I remember was opening my eyes and staring into Isabelle's. I searched around the room to see if we were alone and with confirmation of that I broke the silence.

"Hi, ummm, I need, I mean could you please help me I need pads." I asked quietly her brows furrowed together. "I'm bloated so I know my period is going to start."

"I am going to fucking kill him!" she shouts as she shoots up from her chair. I have never felt so confused in my life. She almost ran from my room and something inside me forced me to follow her.

I followed behind her making sure she won't notice my presence. I could not care less that my butt was on display for everyone behind me. I was unstoppable as I paced on behind her. I heard a door slam and when I came stopped in front of it I saw that it was the board room.

I pressed my ear against the door, but it was impossible to hear anything. I risked it; I slowly and quietly opened the door. The moment I was able to hear I stopped opening the door.

"...fuck this up, you keep on fucking this up. If you don't tell her today I will and then she is going to run again. We will not be able to find her again. We were lucky this time." Isabelle screams

"Fuck! She's not talking to me Sis, I do not want to fucking push her. She has been through a shit ton of stuff. I don't have a fucking clue how to break it to her that she is still caring two of our, my, babies." Joshua yelled back and then I heard something break.

I started to run back to my room, as quickly as I could. I search furiously through my bedside cabinets drawers, but couldn't find any of my belonging.

"Are you alright dear?" I turned at the voice of sweetest nurse and begged her for my belongings.

"Mr. Blake is holding on to them for you, they are perfectly safe."

"Shit!" it was the only thing I could say before I sprinted out of the room.

I run through the hallways, down the stairs, but my steps soon become tired and my pace slows. My feet keep pushing on, but my mind has no idea why I am running again and my heart is pulling me back to him.

"You have an hour to gather your thought and if you are not back in your room by then I will have you arrested!" I hear his stern voice behind me as he grabs onto my forearm and turns me to him.

His eyes are laced with hurt and desperation. The only indication that I still have a heartbeat is the thumps I feel in my chest. I lone tear escape from his eye and on its own accord my hand shoots up and wipes is away.

"Please, just stop, stop running. I will let you go and provide for you. I will even let you have them. Just please, please, I beg you. Stop running." He struggles over his word as the sobbing wins over.

When the final tear is wiped away from his face he turns around and walks back into the hospital. I can feel people staring at me as I stand motionless still looking at him. I feel someone wrapping something over me and when I look to the source kind brown eyes stare at me.

"Thank you Sir" I tell the man with the warmest smile I can master.

"It's no problem Missy, you want to sit with me on the bench. I am waiting for my son to pick me up,"

"Sure"

We sit on the bench without talking. The silence is comfortable. People move about without taking noticing us. Doctors pass by talking about their surgeries and plans after work.

"That man of yours reminds me so much of my younger self and you, haha, you fight and fight against your own heart just like my Abby. We were both fighting pushing everyone away to make sure we never get hurt again. Life is ugly Missy, you are going to get hurt no matter what. Don't you think it will be better if someone is there next to you, taking the pain with you? Don't fight against beautiful things. Now blow that kiss into the sky and open your heart to that man who loves you"

With his words I finally turned to look at him, but he is gone. The only proof I have that he was ever there is the blazer jacket around me.

Goosebumps erupts on my skin.

I blow a kiss into the sky and make my way back to the boardroom.