Baby for Mr. Blake

Chapter 27

Friday, 30 June 2017 – Skylar

I knew about BDSM, but it all seemed too dangerous to me. I was never curious enough to learn more about it and after Atlanta, even my fantasies with some BDSM factors were lost. After last Friday I was, well still am, confused. So much so that I had daily sessions with Sidney which didn't help in the way I hoped which added to my frustration.

The fact that Joshua was a Dominant awoke a fear in me. I was filled with questions about Atlanta. I could not imagine him being part of what happened to me, but why was he there. I was too scared to ask him, not because of the question, but what the answer might be.

Sidney suggested that I do research, but I've been putting it off using my new business as an excuse. During our session today he gave me an ultimatum in a way and said that he will only see me again after I did some research. I was mad at him at first even though I understood why he did that.

So today I forced myself not to leave home until I have done some research. I have typed and erased question after question not once entering the search. Why was this so hard for me? My phone vibrates again and this time I glance at the screen. It's Jennifer, I stare at the screen wondering if I should answer. I decide to leave it, but continue to stare at the screen waiting for the voicemail alert.

Are you still alive? Guilt and anxiety strike me as I read her text as it pops up. Defenseless I call her back...

"Fucking finally!" she answers her phone

"Hi Jen, how are you?"

"Nah-nah-nah, what in the blazes is going on? Mr. Blake has been excessively grumpy all week and you are the only person I've seen who wakes that persona up in him so spill!" even though there's some humor in her tone I know she's not happy with me.

"I'm sorry.." guilt filled my mouth spills "I've been avoiding him all week. Something happened and uh um I don't know what to make of it."

"I know he is my boss, but I'm gonna kill him. What did he do?"

"I don't know how to explain"

"Did he hurt you physically or emotionally?"

"Well no"

"Did he tell you to leave?"

"No its nothing like that."

"Then what the fuck then?"

"I went somewhere by a misunderstanding and he was there and it revealed something about him, and I don't know how to feel about that"

"Oh! My! Hat, Hatter, Hat!! You like him!!!" at first she almost spelled out each word and then it all turned into a squeal of delight. "I need to hear everything like in right now and I mean ev-er-y-thing! This is brilliant!!"

"Can you please just stop jeeezzzz, I am not discussing this over the phone" I already decided it was best to surrender to her questions; her curiosity might be more severe than her being informed.

"It's a good thing I am on my way to you then!" she squeals and ends the call.

I was already pacing around thinking of stories to tell her when she squealed in with delight before I could come up with a plan.

"You look stunning wow!" she folds me in her arms and starts to jump with a squeal.

"Would you please just stop with the squealing jeezzz!" I beg as she still moves up and down. "Can you stop so that I can pour you some ice tea or something?"

"Nope I brought some non-alcoholic wine for us, so you go sit where you are comfortable I need to hear everything" she winks and walks into the kitchen.

"Okay , Okay I surrender. I'll be at the pier." I grab a few pillows from the patio chairs and make my way to the pier.

***

"Oh my Hat!" Jen squeals out for the hundredth time. "This is unreal; I have never had an orgasm like that! Wow! So what's the probl...." Her words die probably finally realizing how it all must come together with what happened in Atlanta.

"I just don't get the appeal. Why would anyone willingly let themselves be tortured?" the tears start without warning and I hate them. I hate that I am affected by this. I hate that I am affected at all.

Jen cradles me into her arms and lap. I am thankful for the pillows I brought with. She rubs up and down my back with soft whispers of "shh" and "it'll be okay"

When I am all calm and the tears stopped Jen pulls me to a sit. With crossed legs and knees touching each other she takes my hands and tells me to focus and listen to her.

"Will you be able to do that?" she asks as confirmation.

"Yes, I will." She nods and tightens her hold on my hands.

"What happened to you in Atlanta was not BDSM. That was forced and cruel. If what happened to you in Atlanta was BDSM you would have had a safeword, you would have consented to be handled in the way you were. You were abused Sky and I am really sorry that it happened to you. BDSM is a beautiful commitment and it's more than just sexual play"

"Wait, stop, your part of it?" I ask in an attempt to pull my hands off her grasp, but she doesn't let go.

"Yes I am and I'll answer all your questions. I will be honest and open with you as you have been with me."