Baby for Mr. Blake

Chapter 23

Wednesday, 21 June 2017 – Skylar

A memory of my mom and dad comes to me when the song Broken Wings plays over the speakers of the beautiful restaurant. I am conflicted about Joshua's words because to me all he could care about are his babies. I race through every interaction I remember having with him and most of them seem kind and loving.

"Why?" I ask him. Overcome with emotions from the memory of my parents shared love I hide my eyes from him while I blankly stare outside the window.  Oh how I dreamed to find the same kinda love they shared. 

"Let's discover together." I feel the tear escape me as he answers. Repeating the exact same words my dad told my mom when she asked what adventures await in our new home. I was so small, but to this day I remember that interaction. We had so many adventures in that home.

I shut my eyes tight until it hurts and quietly ask "Slow?"

"Your pace Darling I promise." I peak through my shut eyes his smile is wide it almost seems proud. My stomach rumbles, making us both break out in a laugh. "I guess it's time to feed your kids" I say jokingly his eyes go cold in a flash and then quickly it goes back to normal. I did not miss that transition, but for now, I will just enjoy the evening.

***

"Thank you so much for dinner, it was the best Fillet I have ever had." I move on my tippy toes and kiss Josh on the cheek. His arms wrap around me and I snuggle into him.

"It's only a pleasure Darling." He takes my hand as I start walking in the direction of the guesthouse. He pulls me so that we walk to the garage. I reflect back on our conversation at the restaurant when I discussed my business idea with him. Tomorrow I will hand paint my flyers and get them copied. Joshua insisted that I use someone to drop the flyers at every house he was not very happy when I said I will walk from house to house.

"Your Nissan arrived today. It has a navigation system, heated interiors, camera system, but I am sure you would discover all the features yourself." He smiles down at me and it warms me. I hug his hand with my own.

The Nissan comes into view and my mouth falls open. Underneath the lights of the garage, the charcoal paint looks like it's laced with diamonds. I was speechless. Joshua pressed me forward and opened the driver seat for me. I trace every button as I wonder what they do. How will I ever figure out each one's purpose?

"Maybe you could drive me to work in the morning?"

"Thank you so much, Joshua, I have no idea how I will ever repay you."

"I'll have none of that Skylar." he tells me again with a scoff.

"What time do you leave for work?" He stares out in front of him. "Josh?"

"Yes, we leave at 6. Don't be late Skylar." His words are cold cutting though my flesh and before I can ask what is going on he is gone. What the hell?

I jump out of the car calling into the darkness for him. Over and over I call his name, but it's futile. The moment I feel the tears run down my face I start sobbing. Blurred with tears I lock the car, close the garage and head to the guesthouse.

I fall to the bed as the sobbing shakes me, but the emotions don't rob me from my energy like always. It's like its feeding my energy. I toss and turn trying to get into a comfortable position, but it's helpless. Certain that sleep won't come to me I start searching through the drawers for some paint and paper to make my flyers.

I know these days digital designs are normality, but to me, this gives your clients something personal about yourself. I play around with names like Skybites, Reid's Food and more to try and get a business name that incorporates me. Finally, I decide on ReidyMealz and start painting the name on the paper with the y and z curving to the edge of the paper.

I use the laptop Joshua left here this morning and create an email address. I will buy myself a cell in the morning and add the number to the flyer before I copy them for delivery. I pour myself a glass of juice and sit on the table outside slowing slipping on it as I wonder what happened with Josh earlier.

I stare at the chair Dave sat in and I try to formulate a plan to discover how he obviously knew things that he should not know about. My mind was racing with options that left me in a panicked state. If only I had the answers. If only there weren't cruel people in the world. If only...

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard what sounded like someone falling. I didn't switch on the outside lights when I came outside, so I was safely tucked away in the darkness. I remained seated as quiet as possible without movement. A black figure fell to the floor in front of the guesthouse door.

"I'm sorry Skylar, I am going mad. There is a fire-filled hunger inside of me. The storm rumbles every time I am away from you. Then when I am with you there is soft rain quenching my soul. I badly wanted to pull you onto my lap earlier. I wanted to kiss you and taste you. I had to get away,  I didn't want to frighten you. I have never felt this and I have never wanted this. Now I crave it all because of you and only for you. I hope that I can prove myself to you, make you see the truth of my heart and make you believe in my love for you. Fuck knows how it happened, but here I am desperate to quiet the raging storm. Will that ever be possible? Will you ever be able to believe in good after all you have been through? Fuck!" Joshua screams out and I hear something flying my way.

A whiskey tumbler crashes against the paving at the foot of the table. Glass shards splatter, I can feel them fall next to my feet. I stare at the dark shape of the broken man. Something deep within me calls on me to curl onto his lap. Frightened of what might happen I remain seated. The call starts to ache and I stand up and stalk closer.

His back rests against the glass of the door and his legs are straight out in front of him. He is snoring lightly so I slowly kneel down and crawl onto his lap, curling myself into him. "If only this dream would be true. It would be the best damned moment of my life." His voice dies down as he starts to lightly snore again. I kiss his forehead and close my eyes.