The Trouble Is

Chapter 56: Summer's Final List

The summer ends with a sigh.

Our house is strangely quiet. Mom and Skip have taken Doug to the circus, but it's more than that. There's no dishwasher running or clothes bumping in the dryer or meditation tapes playing. I don't even hear the sound of the air conditioner running. It is completely quiet. I don't remember the last time I heard this house at rest. Even after I go to bed at night, there's always an appliance running or the soft laughter of late-night television in Mom and Skip's room.

Tonight I update the summer list. Not the list of summer vows that I made; I update "The Summer of Katie and A List" that we made so long ago that I have to flip back and forth just to get the wording right.

1. Beach nights = Thurs., Fri., and Sat. WITHOUT FAIL!

2. Do one WILD thing with our appearances.

3. Go to a real Fourth of July event and stay out until sunrise.

4. Katie's "stretch goal": lose her virginity.

5. A's "stretch goal": Annabelle gets the fairytale.

I think about Katie's point of view along with my own. We definitely succeeded at the beach-night goal, but we never did anything really wild with our appearances. Both sets of parents forbid us from staying out until sunrise, unfortunately. Katie did get her stretch goal, although it turned out to be a little awkward.

In some ways, I got the fairytale I had wished for on that first day of summer. Mom is in remission for now. Thanks to Skip, we all learned a lot about organic options and are probably much healthier overall. Doug continues his exploration of the great unknown. I am confident that one day he will take over the exploration of life's most complex problems from Stephen Hawking.

East is headed to Texas A&M University on the way to becoming the architect he wants so badly to be. We don't make any promises that require monitoring. We don't plan to talk or text on some predefined schedule. And there's no commitment on East coming home on any specific day or frequency. But I know he will. We simply commit to "do the needful," as Katie used to say. I know that distance won't matter to us. It would take more than distance to tear us apart. For us, that's our current version of happily ever after.

East is definitely the prince charming of my summer story. However, in other ways, I could not negotiate a true happily ever after. Real life is not always about the handsome prince or the lost shoe. It's sometimes about the sleeping maiden.

I think about Katie constantly. I dream about her, and when I wake up, for the briefest of moments, I can feel her sleeping beside me like so many nights before. I can't imagine ever having another friend like her. I can't imagine walking into T.R. High School in a few weeks without her by my side. Laura says these things take time. I nod in agreement, but in my head I hear myself screaming how much it still hurts.

I miss her, but even more than that, I miss who I was when I was with her. She knew every single part of me and loved me still. I think about that and try to imagine what she would say to me now. It would be a text, of course.

<put down da spiral&pen>

Followed by the ultimate ender.

<now.>