Worth The Wait

𝟎𝟗|𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄

Sonya's office felt colder than usual, the fluorescent lights buzzing overhead as I paced back and forth, waiting for her to finish looking through the emails. I was furious—furious at Callum for leaving me in the dark, furious at myself for not seeing it sooner, and furious at Sonya for even suggesting River Prescott. The idea of skating with him, of relying on him, felt like the ultimate betrayal. My heart pounded in my chest, and I could feel the anxiety gnawing at my insides. Every word that had come out of Sonya's mouth in the last few minutes set me on edge, but none more so than this last one. Even as anger surged inside me, I knew deep down I didn't have much of a choice.
"Lucie," Sonya began, her voice calm and measured as ever. "I know this isn't easy, and I don't want you to think I'm pushing you toward something you don't want. But if Callum does walk away—and it's looking like that might be the case—you need to have a backup plan."
I stared at her, disbelief in my eyes. "A backup plan? You're seriously telling me that River Prescott is my backup plan?"
Sonya met my gaze, her eyes steady and unblinking. "I'm telling you that we can't keep pretending everything's fine when it's not. Callum's commitment has been slipping for months now, and if you're honest with yourself, you know it's been coming. We've got to think practically here. If he officially quits, we'll be left with nothing."
"I don't care," I snapped. "I don't want River. He's a hockey player, for God's sake. He doesn't know anything about pairs skating. It's ridiculous."
"I'm not suggesting this lightly," Sonya said, her voice quieter now, but still resolute. "But you have to be prepared. We can't wait for Callum forever. The Winter Games are fast approaching, and you don't have time to start from scratch with someone new. River might be injured, but he knows what it takes to be an elite athlete. And once he's healed—once we get him on the ice—he could surprise you."
I shook my head, the idea clashing violently with every part of me that wanted to keep things as they were. "No. I won't do it. You're asking me to trust someone who's already hurt my career once."
Sonya's eyes softened, but only for a moment. "I know you're upset. I get it. But I'm not asking you to trust him right away. I'm asking you to be open to the possibility that there's no one else who can step in at this point."
I stood still, letting her words sink in. The truth was, I didn't want to admit how desperate I was. I didn't want to admit that I might be willing to take on an unproven partner, someone who could barely move without pain, all because I had no other choice. But Callum was pulling away, and I had no control over that.
"Please," Sonya said, almost pleading now. "Give it a chance. If Callum comes back, great. If he doesn't, at least we'll be ready."
I ran my hand through my hair, feeling more defeated than I had in years. "I don't know, Sonya. I don't know if I can do this with him."
Sonya sighed deeply, the weight of her next words heavy between us. "I know this isn't ideal. But sometimes we don't get to choose. We only get to decide how we handle it."
The silence in the room stretched on, thick with unspoken emotions. I wanted to scream, to argue, to shut down the idea altogether. But I knew Sonya was right. The clock was ticking, and I couldn't afford to wait.
"I'll think about it," I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper.
Sonya nodded. "That's all I'm asking."
"Why him? Why River? Can't we find another figure skater? Someone who actually knows what they're doing, someone who knows the sport, who doesn't have a history of messing up my life?"
Sonya didn't flinch, but I could see a flicker of understanding in her eyes. "Lucie, I've been searching for months, looking for someone else who could fill the role. There just isn't anyone at your level available right now. The few men who are available aren't at the caliber we need, and the others are already committed to their own careers. River... despite everything... might be the best shot we have."
I felt a knot tighten in my stomach as the weight of the situation hit me harder. "But he's a hockey player. It's not the same, Sonya. I need someone who can skate, who understands pairs work. River is a stranger to this."
"I know. Believe me, I know. But sometimes we have to take risks. And right now, it's not about the perfect partner—it's about who's available and who has the drive to get there. You've seen his drive, Lucie. He's not a figure skater, but that doesn't mean he can't be a damn good one if given the chance. I'm not saying it's easy, but I'm asking you to be open to it."
I stood there, my heart heavy, my mind racing. I didn't want to admit it, but Sonya was right. Time was running out. Callum's resignation—his final decision—could be coming at any moment, and the Winter Games were fast approaching. The weight of the Olympics felt like it was pressing down on me, squeezing the breath from my chest.
"This is ridiculous. Why River? How did you come to the conclusion that he's even remotely qualified? I want to understand how you thought he could be a solution."
Sonya's fingers tapped lightly on her desk, her eyes thoughtful. "It wasn't an easy decision. Believe me, it wasn't my first choice. But I've been trying to find someone who could meet the standards we need—and fast. After months of looking, I started running into the same issue: there just aren't any male skaters available at your level who are both available and suitable."
I couldn't stop the sarcastic laugh that escaped me. "You've got to be kidding me. So, what? River's the best option we've got?"
Sonya sighed, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "It's not that simple. I know River's a hockey player, and I know he doesn't have pairs skating experience. But he has something most figure skaters don't—a mentality of an elite athlete. He's had years of training in another sport at the highest level. He knows what it takes to push himself past his limits, and he's physically strong. And let's not forget—he has some of the most explosive speed I've ever seen."
I stared at her, still incredulous. "So, you think he is going to be the answer? Just like that? Because he's fast and strong?"
Sonya leaned forward, her expression serious now. "No, Lucie. I don't think it's that simple. But I've watched him train, I've seen how his mind works when he's on the ice—even when it's just conditioning for his recovery. And the way he handles the pressure? The commitment he puts into everything? That's rare. You need someone who can learn fast and work even faster. River has that drive. He might not be a perfect fit yet, but he's a damn good athlete. And I think he has the potential to make this work."
My stomach twisted. "And you think I can just... trust him? After everything that happened?"
Sonya's gaze softened. "I know it's hard to let go of the past, but this isn't about what happened before. It's about what happens next. If Callum doesn't come back, River might be your only shot. I don't like it any more than you do, but you're going to have to make a choice."
I ran a hand through my hair, still processing what she was saying. The idea of skating with River made my stomach churn, but the truth hit me like a punch to the gut: I didn't have another option. I couldn't afford to waste any more time waiting for Callum.
"I just don't get it," I muttered, more to myself than to Sonya. "Why River?"
Sonya sat back in her chair, the weight of the situation settling between us. "Because sometimes, when we're desperate, we have to think outside the box. River might not be the obvious choice, but in this moment, he's the best we've got."
I leaned against the desk, the weight of everything pressing down on me. The room felt even colder now, the silence between us heavy and suffocating. Sonya's words echoed in my mind, but I couldn't make sense of it all. I wanted to shout, to slam my fist into something and make this go away. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to have to make this choice.
Sonya's voice broke through the haze of my thoughts. "Lucie, I know you're angry. I know you're scared. But I'm asking you to think about this logically. The Olympics are everything for you. We've worked too hard to let this slip through our fingers because of a past you can't change."
I shook my head. "I can't just pretend the past doesn't matter, Sonya. River doesn't get to waltz back into my life, and we're supposed to just... what? Forget everything that happened? Forget the way he humiliated me? The way he ruined everything for me when I was sixteen?"
Sonya's gaze softened, but her tone remained firm. "I'm not asking you to forget, Lucie. I'm asking you to look forward. There's no denying what happened in the past. But this is about what you do now. This is your chance to prove to yourself that you can rise above everything that's happened before. You're stronger than this."
I wanted to scream. I wanted to lash out. But instead, I stood there, frozen, the anger now mixed with a gnawing sense of dread. I'd been fighting for so long, clawing my way through every setback, every injury, every criticism. I'd made it to the top, but now... now everything was crumbling around me. The thing I had feared the most was happening. I was losing control.
"Why does it always have to be me who sacrifices?" I whispered more to myself than to Sonya, my voice breaking despite myself. "Why is it always me who has to pick up the pieces? I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for him."
Sonya's eyes softened, and she took a step closer. "Lucie, no one is saying this is fair. But life isn't fair. You've worked so hard to get where you are, and you're not about to let this—whatever this is with River—stop you from achieving what you've dreamed of your entire life."
I closed my eyes, trying to block out the emotions threatening to overwhelm me. I felt a tear slip down my cheek, but I wiped it away quickly, angry at myself for letting it show. I wasn't weak. I couldn't be.
"I just..." I struggled to find the words. "I don't know if I can trust him. I don't know if I can trust anyone anymore."
Sonya's voice was gentle, but it cut through me like a blade. "Lucie, trust isn't something you're given. It's something you choose. I can't tell you how this will turn out with River, but I know you have it in you to make it work if you're willing to give it a shot. You've proven time and time again that you have the strength to face the impossible. This is just another obstacle."
I wanted to argue, to tell her she was wrong, that trusting River was a betrayal I couldn't make. But a part of me— a small, nagging voice—wondered if maybe Sonya was right. Maybe, just maybe, I had to let go of the past in order to have a future.
I turned away, my back to Sonya, as I tried to gather my thoughts. The idea of skating with River, of trusting him, still felt like a betrayal. But I couldn't deny that I was running out of options. I was running out of time.
"Give it time," Sonya said softly. "Just think it through. And when you're ready, let me know."
I nodded absently, my mind whirling as I walked toward the door. My hand hovered over the doorknob, but before I could leave, I turned back to her.
"I'll try," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "But I don't know if I can."
Sonya gave me a small, understanding smile. "I know you'll figure it out, Lucie. You always do."
And with that, I walked out of her office, the weight of the decision still hanging heavily on my shoulders.
The bar was dimly lit, the kind of place where the noise of laughter and clinking glasses became a blur after a while, and the smell of spilled beer and cheap whiskey was the only thing that lingered. I hadn't meant to end up here. I'd just needed something to numb the pain, to drown out the chaos in my head, the relentless voice that kept asking me where it had all gone wrong.
Callum's resignation email had hit me like a slap in the face. I hadn't expected him to pin the blame on me—on me—for his decision, but somehow, in his eyes, I had become the reason he couldn't keep going. "You've always pushed too hard, Lucie. You always want perfection. And I'm not good enough for that anymore." Those were his words. Those were the last words I'd ever get from Callum.
I slammed my glass on the bar and signaled for another. It wasn't even about the skating anymore. It wasn't about the Olympics. It was about how everything I had worked for was falling apart, and I was still standing here, lost.
"Lucie," the bartender said with a concerned look. "Maybe you should slow down a little. You've had a lot already."
I ignored him, took another sip, the burn of whiskey almost comforting. It was easier than facing what was real. The noise of the bar was like a muffled echo, the faces around me blurring into nothingness. I didn't care. They could all disappear, and I'd be fine with it.
But then I saw him.
I barely registered the movement at first, but then, as if the universe was trying to make some twisted joke, River Prescott walked into the bar. The last person I wanted to see.
It was the last straw.
He scanned the room, his eyes landing on me. His posture stiffened, probably because I looked like a mess. My hair was a little wild, and I could only imagine the red flush in my cheeks from all the alcohol. He slowly made his way over to me, his steps purposeful. He didn't say a word at first, just leaned against the bar next to me, his presence somehow both comforting and infuriating.
"Are you okay?" River's voice cut through the haze, his tone low and cautious.
I snorted, the sound bitter and dry. "Do I look okay to you?" I could feel the heat rise in my chest, my heart pounding faster as the alcohol took hold. "Callum quit. Yeah. He quit. And it's all my fault. Because apparently, I push too hard. I'm not perfect enough. He can't handle it." My voice cracked slightly as the words tumbled out of me.
River's brow furrowed. He shifted his weight but didn't move, keeping his distance. "What do you mean, he quit?"
I let out a shaky breath, glancing at him with blurry eyes. "Oh, you know. Just the usual. He sent me an email. Officially. Pinning it all on me. Not good enough. Never good enough. And then... Sonya... Sonya suggested you. You, River Prescott, the hockey player with the broken leg, as my new partner." I laughed, but it came out as more of a bitter, strangled noise. "Isn't that hilarious? You can barely walk, and you don't know the first thing about skating, let alone pairs skating. And Sonya thinks you're the solution."
River didn't flinch. Instead, he straightened up, his eyes locking onto mine with a challenge. "For the record, Lucie, I don't have a broken leg. I'm standing just fine, if you haven't noticed."
I blinked, a little taken aback by the sass in his tone. But I was too far gone to let it rattle me. "Okay, okay. Maybe you can stand, River. But you still don't know anything about skating. You play hockey. This is figure skating. It's not the same thing."
He raised an eyebrow, his smirk almost mocking. "I know the basics of balance and speed, and I know how to push myself when it counts. You don't think that counts for something?"
I scoffed, but I was too tired to keep up the argument. "Please. I don't even know why you're here, River. You're the last person I need right now."
He didn't flinch at my words, just kept his steady gaze on me. "I'm here because you're making a mess of this, and I'm not going to let you drink yourself into oblivion. No one deserves that, especially you."
I opened my mouth to retort, but before I could, Kolton and Sophia entered the bar. Kolton's eyes immediately found mine, his face falling when he saw how much I had drunk. Sophia's expression mirrored his, full of concern.
"Lucie," Kolton said softly, walking over to me. "Let's go home."
I didn't even try to protest. I was too far gone. And, honestly, I didn't have it in me to fight anymore.
As Kolton helped me stand, I glanced at River one last time, the last thing I said slipping out before I lost myself to the fog of alcohol. "Sonya thinks you're the answer, River. I don't know why. You can barely stand. And you play hockey. You don't know a thing about skating."
I felt Kolton's arm around me, helping me out of the bar, and the world faded around me.
But through the haze, I could hear River's voice, low and steady. "We'll see, Lucie. We'll see."
The cold night air hit my face like a slap when Kolton helped me out of the bar. The warmth of the alcohol still pulsed through my veins, making the world tilt slightly. The clinking of the door behind me, the muffled sounds of the bar still ringing in my ears, felt distant now, almost like a dream I was waking up from.
I glanced over my shoulder to see River still standing by the bar, his expression unreadable, though I could tell he hadn't moved. The briefest flash of anger and something else—something that I couldn't place—crossed his face. And then, as though it was nothing, he turned away, like I didn't matter.
Kolton's grip tightened on my arm, but his voice was soft, almost hesitant. "Lucie, you okay?"
I stumbled a little, the weight of my own body suddenly too much for me to hold up. "No," I muttered, my voice thick with alcohol and bitterness. "I'm not okay. Why does everyone think they know what's best for me?"
Kolton shot me a worried glance, but Sophia was already at my other side, steadying me with a gentle hand on my back. "Hey, hey," she said quietly. "We're getting you out of here. Just breathe, okay?"
I shook my head, not sure what I was supposed to do with all the feelings swirling in my chest. The tightness, the anger, the sense of betrayal—everything felt too much, and yet, none of it felt real. It was like the entire world was moving around me in slow motion, while I stayed stuck in this never-ending loop of disappointment.
"I can't believe this is happening," I muttered, half to myself, my words slurring. "I've worked so hard. I've worked for this, Kolton. And Callum? Callum quits, and now Sonya wants River. River."
Sophia's hand was still on my back, and she squeezed gently. "Lucie, you're going to be okay. Callum leaving—it doesn't mean the end of everything. We'll figure this out."
"Figuring it out is what I'm afraid of." I scoffed bitterly, looking down at my feet as I walked, the gravel crunching beneath my shoes. "How is River the solution? He can barely stand up, and he plays hockey. He's not—" I broke off, shaking my head as the words got tangled in my mind.
Kolton glanced at Sophia, then back at me, his voice low but steady. "You know Sonya wouldn't just throw someone in there without thinking it through, right?"
I snorted. "She doesn't know what she's doing. She's panicking. And now I'm supposed to trust him? River?" I shook my head again, this time with more force, though the dizziness started to make me wobble. "It's a joke, Kolton. A joke."
We kept walking, and I couldn't tell if we were getting closer to the car or farther away. The world kept tilting, spinning. I had no control over my body, over my thoughts.
I thought of River again. That damn smirk he'd given me as I snapped at him. I couldn't stand him. Not with how arrogant he was, not with the way he thought he could just waltz into my life, my sport, without knowing a damn thing about it. And yet... something about the way he'd said it—he could stand just fine, thank you—stuck in my head.
I wanted to laugh it off. I wanted to push it all away. But the truth was, deep down, I didn't have a choice. Callum was gone, and Sonya was grasping at whatever she could to keep me on track. Even if that meant pulling in someone like River Prescott.
"Why him?" I muttered, mostly to myself. "Why couldn't it be anyone else?"
Kolton's voice was softer this time, almost sad. "Sometimes, you don't get to choose your circumstances, Lucie."
We were almost at the car now, but I couldn't focus. My vision was blurry, and the cold air was too sharp against my skin. I didn't want to get in the car. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to face the quiet that waited for me in my empty apartment. The loneliness of it was suffocating.
Sophia must have noticed my resistance, because she nudged me gently, steering me toward the backseat. "Come on, Lucie. Let's get you home. You're going to rest, sleep this off."
I reluctantly slid into the backseat, my legs uncooperative. As the door clicked shut behind me, I saw River again in my mind. His cocky smile, the way he'd leaned against the bar like he belonged there, like he had all the answers.
He didn't have the answers. He couldn't. He was a hockey player. He wasn't meant for this.
I wanted to shut my eyes, drown the thoughts out, but the memory of his voice—We'll see, Lucie. We'll see—kept echoing in my mind, like a drumbeat that wouldn't stop.
The car started moving, but I wasn't sure if I was going anywhere. I wasn't sure if I cared.
As the car started moving, I slumped into the backseat, my head lolling against the cool window. The world outside passed by in a blur of streetlights, but inside, everything felt jumbled. I wanted to close my eyes and let the alcohol and exhaustion pull me into sleep, but my mind wouldn't shut off. It never did.
"I'm so tired," I mumbled, my voice slurred as I stared at the darkness outside. "Tired of everything. Of trying. Of pretending. Of dealing with... this."
Sophia turned in the front seat, her eyes soft but worried. She opened her mouth to speak, but I waved her off, slurring my words even more as I went on. "I don't want River to be my partner, you know? I don't want him. He's a hockey player. He doesn't even know how to skate, like... seriously. Seriously."
I let out a long, frustrated breath, blinking up at the ceiling of the car. "But—he's hot. Like... really hot. And that's the problem. He makes me so... god, I don't know, mad? But not mad, like... like... why is he so distracting?" I chuckled to myself, shaking my head. "I'm so dumb. So damn dumb."
I heard Kolton shift in his seat, probably to make sure I wasn't about to start another rant. But I was already deep in it. My words tumbled out faster than I could think them through, and I was too far gone to care.
"I'm hungry," I added randomly, "like, so hungry. I feel like I haven't eaten in a hundred years. I should stop by a drive-thru. Maybe get some fries... or a burger... or both... I mean, what's the point in dieting anyway? Callum told me I'm fat. You know that? He told me. Called me fat. Fat, Kolton. Fat."
The word stung, even as I said it out loud. My stomach twisted, but I didn't want to think about it too much. If I did, I might start crying, and I didn't want that. I couldn't cry. I needed to hold it together, even if it was just for a few more minutes.
"He said it, Sophia. Fat. Like... after all the work I've done... and I'm still not enough. He left me. And then... River. River Prescott," I said, the name slipping off my tongue like it was venom. "Why does everyone keep thinking he's the answer? He's not the answer. I don't need him. I don't want him."
I could feel my breathing picking up, the frustration turning into something else. Something deep in my chest that I couldn't quite name. Something heavy. The way Callum had looked at me before he left, his face full of disappointment—it haunted me.
"I'm... I'm just so tired of it all, you know?" I whispered. "Tired of being told I'm not enough. Of trying to prove that I'm worth something, that I'm worthy of everything I've worked for. It's like... why does it feel like I'm always falling short?"
The words kept coming, tumbling out in a messy rush, too fast for me to stop. I didn't even know where I was going with it anymore. I didn't know how to stop.
"I don't want River. I don't want him to be my partner. I want Callum. I want my partner. But he's gone, and River is the one left, and I don't get it. I don't get any of it."
I let my head drop back against the seat, the weight of everything pressing down on me. My thoughts were swirling, so out of control that I felt dizzy just trying to follow them. "I'm so hungry, I could eat my weight in junk food right now," I muttered again, trying to distract myself. "But... I'm fat, so I shouldn't. Callum said so. I shouldn't eat. But I want to. I want to eat it all."
Sophia turned to look at me, her face kind but serious. "Lucie, stop."
I blinked, suddenly realizing how much I had just spilled out, how much I had said that I wasn't even sure was true. "I'm sorry, I... I'm just a mess," I muttered, feeling a mix of exhaustion and embarrassment crash over me.
"No," Sophia said, her voice soft but firm. "You're not a mess. You're human. You're going through a lot right now. But you don't need to do this alone."
I didn't respond. I didn't know what to say. All I could think about was how it felt like everything had been taken from me. Callum. The partnership I had built. My body. My career. And now, I was stuck with River Prescott—who was hot and distracting and completely not what I needed. I let out a long, drawn-out sigh, my head still spinning. "Kolton," I started, my voice slurred but earnest. "You're, like, the brother I never had. Seriously. You've always had my back, even when I was a mess."
I glanced over at him, my eyes squinting as I tried to focus. "I don't know what I would do without you. You're, like... my rock, you know? The one person who's always been there. You're the best. The absolute best."
Kolton chuckled softly, but I could tell he wasn't quite sure how to respond. "You've had a few too many, huh?"
"Maybe," I said with a grin, then turned my attention back to Sophia, who was still sitting quietly in the front seat, a faint smile on her lips as she listened. "But you, Sophia..." I let my words trail off as I gazed at her, my expression turning soft and a little misty. "You're my favorite person in the whole wide world. Seriously. If I could be you, I'd do it in a heartbeat. You're just... you're perfect."
She raised an eyebrow, clearly amused but touched by my drunken sincerity. "I'm not perfect, Lucie. Trust me."
"Don't be modest," I said, throwing my hands up as if it were obvious. "You are. You're kind, you're smart, you're beautiful, and you always know what to say. You're everything I wish I could be."
Sophia laughed, but there was a warmth in her eyes. "Thank you, Lucie. That means a lot."
"And I want you and Kolton to have babies," I blurted out, without any filter whatsoever, a huge grin on my face. "Like, so badly. I want to be the best auntie ever. I can already see it—little baby Kolton and Sophia running around. I can spoil them rotten and then give them back when they start crying. That's the best part about being an aunt, right?"
Kolton looked at me, startled at first, and then a smile slowly spread across his face. "You're pretty drunk, huh?"
"I'm so drunk," I admitted, laughing a little too loudly. "But, like, I'm serious. I just love you both so much. You make everything better. And I want to be there for you, for your kids. I want to be the coolest auntie who buys them all the sugar and lets them stay up late watching movies."
Sophia couldn't help but laugh at the idea, her eyes lighting up with affection. "You'll make a great aunt, Lucie. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay? Kolton and I still have some things to figure out before we get to the baby stage."
I pouted, crossing my arms. "But I want babies now! I'm ready! Kolton, you can teach them how to play hockey, and Sophia can teach them how to... I don't know... be awesome at everything. Seriously, I want to spoil them so much."
Kolton glanced over at Sophia with a teasing smile. "Looks like we've got our future planned out. You ready for that?"
Sophia raised an eyebrow at me, still smiling. "Lucie, how about we start with something smaller—like, say, a stable career and a better life plan before we dive into the whole baby thing?"
I rolled my eyes dramatically, even though I knew she was right. "Fine, fine. But when the time comes, I'm going to be the best aunt ever. And you two will have kids, because that's just how it's supposed to be. Trust me."
Kolton and Sophia exchanged amused looks, but I could tell they were both touched by the way I cared about them. Despite the mess of emotions I was feeling, there was a deep sense of love and gratitude that kept bubbling to the surface.
I leaned back in my seat, my head spinning a little, but the warmth in my chest kept me grounded. "I just love you guys. That's all. You're my family. You're the only family I need."
Sophia turned to smile at me, her voice softer now. "We love you too, Lucie."