Tom's P.O.V
I'm sitting on my navy blue blanket, the fuzz matted down from years of use, but it's alright because it brings me comfort.
It's beautiful outside, the sun comes through in chunks through my blinds, highlighting slivers of my room. You can hear children laughing and cars driving by, a sign that time and life are moving on.
But, inside my mind it's dark and stormy. I'm at war.
With whom, you may ask? Myself.
My mind tells me one thing, but my heart pleads for the other.
I think I may like someone, but I'm not for sure. My heart has been void of certain emotions for so long, that I can only recognize a few emotions.
Red- the feeling of anger. Red flows through your body like a floodgate, it enters every pour and exits in the form of empty words and broken tears.
Blue- the feeling of sadness. It's slow to realize it's there. It works it's way around slowly, starting at the core of you and branching out. This one is a bit harder to get rid of, dark bags and numb nights are something you'll experience often.
Gray- Anxiety. It's overwhelming, like a system over load. It forces you to rub your fingers and jiggle your leg. There is no way to get rid of it, except to face your fears. And I'll never do that.
Any other color is foreign to me, the new sensation confusing my brain, wanting for it to leave already.
I feel two different colors. My heart feels like a fuchsia, bright and warm, a color that is not often used.
My mind is a gunmetal blue, steely and unwelcoming, something to remind you of how dangerous it actually is.
These colors are very conflicting, something that I can't get rid of. And it's all his fault.
His mocha brown hair, curled at the tips. The way it bounces when he laughs.
His brown eyes, the depths they can hold are intriguing. Scary, even. He understands situations, even if he's never experienced them.
His qualities are perfect, ranging from his humor to the way he sounds.
These feelings have been here for 3 years, both of them battling to overtake the other, but I usually push them way down, so far, that I forget them. But, they have been there.
I need both of them, one keeps me in check and the other lets me have some hope in my bleak days.
Maybe it's a bit more than like....maybe I'm in love?
Who knows? The only thing I'm certain of is I want to step outside of my room, feel the cool air blasting from the AC and walk down the hallway, only to slip my shoes on and go outside with him, where the colors will be a bit brighter and everything will be just a bit more... amazing.
