« It's like the world collapses when you smile.. » From the way you held the brush to the way you smiled at me.
I knew I had to see you again.
>Started: June
>Ended: -
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Of course it wasn't true Taehyung. I finally woken up realizing I'm still on the couch. Letting the idea of today sink in, exploding inside about to outburst. I jump up and make myself some coffee. Warming up the water, I pour in milk in my bowl full of Fruit Loops. Feelings, worries, what ifs, they all filled my head. I was drowning in my thoughts as I took a sip of the sweet yet bitter coffee, crunched on moist yet crunchy cereal. Would he really be there that day? I started to realize the facts. Wasn't he already done his painting? Why would someone go out in the rain for someone like me? My expectations dropped like bird whose wings broke in mid-air. Don't get your hopes up. I was hard to live up to that saying, especially when you really want something you can't seem to put a finger on. If someone were to ask me Why? I couldn't answer.
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Pulling on the straps of my bag pack onto my shoulders, I grab the keys and rush out as usual. I don't really like having neighbours when I come to think of it, that was solely the reason. Why did I ever dream of meeting them..? I looked down the whole time on the elevator as more doubts run through my mind, they were probably having a marathon. Reaching the main floor of the Xiamen Apartments I rush out the door avoiding all faces, as usual. "Oh it's Mr. Cloudman." They would comment silently, I knew it, they knew it. I felt the early breeze hit my skin, it always felt nice. Happily, I skipped while looking up as the cloudy sky. He was not crying today, he was not yet crying today. I took out the handkerchief once more and held it tightly in my grasp, not letting it go. I sat down where I always sit, awaiting the bunny boy's presence. Excited, yet nervous as I will ever be. What if he moved away? What if the joke's on me? Then I felt a drop of water gently falling onto my head. He was crying again. I couldn't think of any reason why the clouds would be sad today, I mean the pass days there was been cloudy and rainy moments on days there shouldn't be. But who really says there shouldn't be rain. "Why are you sad? Why have you been sad this whole week?" With that the raincloud increase, down pouring onto me while wetting the clean handkerchief. I quickly pull out my yellow umbrella from my bag, why yellow? Because it signifies happiness. Though my yellow wasn't nearly as bright as happiness, my faded world started to fade even more as time progressed. Then I felt a heavy feeling in my heart. I shared the pain with the cloud, maybe I was the cloud as well. "Kookie! What's wrong??" I shouted to the sky, catching weird glances from the very few people outside running for shelter. No blaming, we weren't expecting a down pour anyway. Blame the weatherman. "Don't blame the weatherman for the weather Tae.." I flinch at the familiar aura coming from behind me, dropping my umbrella instantly. I jump and turn, followed by a hug. "Hoseok hyung! I missed you!" Hoseok hyung simply rubbed my head and smiled sweetly. Kissing my head. Until I feel stares staring upon us. Kissed by an energetic guy who was holding my brighter yellow umbrella. I just laughed and smiled at the him. I couldn't believe anything really, I couldn't believe I forgot about him visiting here.. all because of that stupid Kookie guy.. "Hyung!! What are you doing out in the rain?" Hoseok hyung looked at me like I was the dumbest person in the world. Then just laughed. I was still confused with the reaction. "What are you doing out here??" Hoseok emphasized the you. Then I remembered, Kookie. "Yeah, and why were you talk to the sky and calling it Kookie..? I'm just concerned.." He added. I just chuckled looking down at the red handkerchief, did I want to tell him? Sure. But he sure would make fun of me. Well whatever. "I was just wondering why the sky was sad today." Quickly snatched, the handkerchief in my hand. "Jung-kook." He read slowly. As for Hoseok hyung, he just smirked at me and nudged my shoulder. "Who's this..? Your cloud or your lover?" Hoseok teased. If I were to drink water, I would be choking right this second. But for now, I'm choking on air. Words could not spilled out correctly. What was Jungkook anyway..? That thought left a blank face as I stood up to grab the handkerchief. "Just a boy I met last week, nothing special." Hoseok smirked, hands still formed like he was holding the red cloth. "Ah.. I see, if you say so.. So, are we gonna stay in the rain till he comes or something?" Hoseok questioned looking up at the sky while holding the bright yellow umbrella. I just shrugged, I couldn't just leave them here right? But, I can't just not see Jungkook.. Why is this so hard? I don't know. "Here's my keys. Room 197 remember that.." Hoseok looked at me confused as his mouth slowly opens to speak. "Uh, aren't you supposed to be hanging out with me?" I probably would've had a different mindset if Jimin hyung was here.. I would've chose him over anyone any day. He's the one who gave me the will to see colours.. "But, where's Jiminie hyung." It wasn't even a question. Whenever I asked about Jimin they all know what's going on inside my head. Is Jimin hyung still in the hospital? Did they leave Jimin hyung to come here? Jimin hyung.. where are you? I mean, it had been awhile since I've been let down by this same reason. I guess it's because I found something else to look forward each day. Besides Jimin's death. "Actually.. he is.. BUT" Hoseok hyung, as much as I want to smack you and tell you 'Don't smile right now, please' I can bear to watch your smile fade away too. "..He's in a hospital in Daegu now." Hoseok hyung finished.
a/n: they are in Daegu right now
I wasn't sure if that was supposed to make me feel better. I wasn't sure how to feel. Maybe it's only me? "C-can I see h-him..?" I stuttered. My mind is broken, stop following the heart's instructions idiot. Hoseok hyung nodded as we walked toward the hospital. Each door we passed, my heart raced even more. Until we finally reached, room 109. My hands shook as I held the doorknob ready to run and hug him, it wasn't a private room though. Sadly. I turn the doorknob ever so slowly to barely see the same pink hair from 1 year ago. "Jiminie hyung!" Getting hushed by an assistant nurse on the other side of the curtain, I still ran and hugged the surprised man in the white hospital sheets. I was crying, I admit. I haven't seen him face to face in 12 months. "T-taehyungie..? I m-missed y-you." He replied weakly to my hug. Then, I felt paralyzed. His tears were like poison to my legs, I couldn't move, I didn't want to. Yoongi and Hoseok smile at their weak boyfriend and I then twitched their head towards the wheelchair. "Let's catch up hyung!" I said jumping off the bed as I skipped over to the wheelchair strolling it along to him. It had a nice pastel blue pillow on the seat for comfort and- oh- it's the friendship necklace I made for him when we were 7.. I really did love him, I really do. Slowly pushing him out of the room into the garden where the blue soaked flowers lived, only the two of us. I remember how Jimin hyung would always go out just to take a look at these flowers.. with me. "So.. how's your job?"
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He suddenly snapped me out of my imagination, right? I smile sweetly at the weak figure. "It's fine. The owner treats me well! He's kinda like a mom to be honest.. it's funny. Especially when his boyfriend helps.." Boyfriend huh? I pause, I'm already 21.. I should start looking for love, shoudn't I? I knew I was bisexual ever since I was 13, maybe I'll find someone soon? "Hmm.. ever wish you could have a lovelife? Or do you have one?" I flinched at the question, I guess I did bring it up in a way. I don't want to ruin the friendship I have between us, so I decided to keep quiet. "Not really..?" Who am I kidding? He can see right through me. "There's something bothering you right? I it that thing." It tickled when he poked the left side of my chest, my heart. It is indeed bothering, it's been bothering me for years actually. He'll hate me. "I loved you.." I mumbled. "What?" "I loved you." "C'mon Tae, my hearing isn't that good. Just tell me! Is it a crush..?" Sure. Unrequited one? "I loved you hyung. I wanted you to be mine." There was a silent pause, birds chirping. "W-what?" I attempted to explain the worst mistake I've ever made in my whole life. "I hate you. Let's not be friends." "I can't believe you secretly loved Jimin! God, he's a guy, disgusting!" What?
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Neehee! Don't forget to comment how you feel about it. I accept any sort of advice! Btw you look lovely today! >_< Neehee!
