when I though things could get better but they did

all the people I can talk to and that I could at any time Part 17

I know that it would not be easy talk to someone that is there for you and try be and  that you want tell them what is wrong with you but when you can and it plate's you and it lot more then what you were hope for at the moment your not worried about it and that you think things would be fine when really more harder and that I just like come one because how can I tell anyone anything because you don't even know what is going on and that what I just   know that I can not take it because I don't want lose Tristen or Tommy and that when I just like please help me god tell me what I should be doing and that why he do this to me and when I know that I not gone get anything back I just had to say it out loud and that when I was just like okay so when I cam out of my room the band was hang out as well and that when I just like hi and they were like hey and that when next Tommy was look at me and so was the another guys and that because I only had a shirt on and no pants or shorts and I was in my under ware  and when they told me and I did care so I just got some coffee and sat down and I told the guys to stop look at me and that when they when back talk but Tommy did he keep look at my legs and that when I just got him look at me and I look at him back and then I left and when in my room and by that time the band was leave and go get take out and sat and why I go and take a shower and they ask tommy if he was going and most of the time he would but this is the one time  he did and I did get why and they smile at tommy and that when I got undress in my room put the wrob on me and take a tale and that when I when to the bathroom and tommy try ask me if that I want some company and that when I was like I take a shower you can sit and talk to me but that it and he say dill and that when I got in the shower and that he came in and he ask me about how Tristen was doing and I say okay I guess I can not say because we have talk since two to make me pick that one time and that when he like have you talk to any of my friends and I say yeah but I don't want talk about that person I want you to tell me why you two put me in a switch to pick who Idea was it who the one when long with it and that when he say that he like and he love me and that he thinks I am the one he is wait for and that how that he want me to pick him and not Tristen and that when I like just tell me and that when he just when to say how that they both love me and that they want know how I feel about the another and they could take it anymore wait for me to tell them so I just say thing for few sec and that when I just like well I can say because I don't know my self so that why I told Tristen that I need time to my self and I told you the same and then I just look at the wall why I was in the shower and I ask Tommy to leave so I can get out and that when he did and I could tell that he was look at the carton   and that I ask him to close the door and when he did I turn the water off and that when I got out and I put the rob back on and tommy open the door and I was wrap my hair in the tale and I say hey  what wrong and he say thing he just look at me and I like can I leave and he say thing again and that when I new that he was try work up to kiss me and when he did I turn my head and that when he like sorry I know it was a good time so I kiss him on the for head and that when I left and I head to my room and that when I got dress and I wait ten mints until I when back out and the band was not back yet so I still when back out and talk to tommy and he say sorry again about try to kiss me and that when I told to don't wore about it and that when he just say how he feel he had to and that h though it was a good moment and when I was just like I get it and that time he ask me if that I want or feel the moment at all when he try kiss me and I say no not really at all so that when he just say thing and look at me and I just like tommy I need time I got figure this out my self and you and the anything did happen be tween us would change the fact that I have some thinking to do so that when I just was like I sorry and that I new he did want hear but he had to and that when I got phone call after say that to him and I step out side and Taylor call me and I was talk her