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I can't move.
I can't breathe. I can't speak.
Justine stares at me like she doesn't even know me.
"Justine," I raise my hands in front of her, "I can explain."
"What — " She shakes her head, whipping her head from me to the List and back again. Every turn of her head like a knife sticking deeper in my heart. "What is this?" She lets out a laugh, but it sounds so forced. As does the grin on her face.
My heart is pounding. I lick my lips. "It's nothing." Is that worse? "I mean, it was... but it's notwhat you think — "
She holds up a threatening finger. I swallow hard.
Her eyes flicker over the paper. Shoot. She's reading it. I can almost feel her unraveling, the realisation as she skims the words go to her best friend's party, take her on a burger date, buy her yellow lilies... kiss in a spontaneous fashion... make her 18th birthday —
"Is this a joke?"
Justine's words are quiet, and I barely hear them.
"Is this," she repeats, "a joke?"
With that tone now, everyone quiets. It's loud and abrasive and laced with hurt. It's not long before people rush out, knowing this is going to get real and personal.
"Justine — " I try as the stream of people passes me.
"He did all these things." she says quietly, almost out of disbelief. "Trey. Each of these things. And that's his handwriting... and the rest is yours — " She looks at me, green eyes so bright. "I don't understand."
But she does. I know she does.
"It's mine," I admit, gulping down the lump in my throat.
She blinks at me. "Tell me this isn't true," she breathes. Her hands are starting to shake. "Tell me you didn't plan this and try to get close to me and set Trey and I up together with a stupid list."
"I can't."
"Jesus," Justine lets out, rubbing an appalled hand over her mouth. "You've got to be fucking kidding me. So you guys have been spying on me all this time? Playing me like some puppet on a string?"
"No! It's not like that!" My heart ready to jump out of my chest. "Trey asked for my help, and I did, and look where you are now — "
"Don't make this about us. This is about you and Trey." She waves the note again like it's a weapon. "You were in this together, weren't you?"
