•Stranded• ( Gender Identity )

x•Flashbacks •x

Warning : if you are not okay with :

Gender Identity , LGBT ( lesbian - gay - bisexual - transgender ) , self harm , suicidal thoughts .

Please go back and don't hate on me .
I warned you ^^^^
And every hate comment would be deleted thank you.

Also if someone ever gonna read this if you wanna talk about something hugs* i would totally appreciate it
just msg me !

Author's note (em) : so here i am at 3:05 am , writing this and got class at 8am tomorrow . Cause why not ._.

• events are true and inspired from my life time

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Part 1

Since i was young . I knew i was different . I wasn't like all of those girls . I felt it inside but i had never realised what was that .

My dad has always feared i would be be boyish or whatever shit he thought .

I always wanted to have karate lessons with my cousins ( two brothers ) one younger than me by a year he is 15 and one older 17 .

Since i was born i have played , hang out , spent all my free time with them.

I was in the 5th year

// **Start of the flashback** //

"Oh my god , really !! so we're going to register next week in the karate club " screamed 10 years old me to my cousins Blaine 9 y/o and Angel 11 y/o .

They both said excitedly "yeeeeesss!!"

I jumped up and down and screamed at the top of my lungs

"IM GONNA TELL THIS TO MY DAD AND MUM!! "

and i started running to go back home not even stopping for 1sec

As i got home i found my dad brushing his teeth in the toilet and i squealed

"DAD! DAD ! Guess WHAAAT! "

"What ! What happened Emily! " he asked me somehow curious cause of my hyper state

" weeeeeelll me and Blaine and Angel decided toooo register in the karate . Sooo all im asking can i register with them " i told him so fast that i didn't catch a breath and then gasped for air .

He looked at me with disgust and narrowed eyes . My excitement died . And my heart sank to my stomach . The tension was so high that it choke me .

"What the hell Emily! For christ sake you're a girl and girls don't do such a stuff , you hear me! " he spoke with cold , bitter tone that it made me shiver . And spat on the sink.

I was mentally panicking

I couldn't show him weakness but i gave up and whined "buut daaad please i heard girls register too and that's okay "

Now he yelled and made me jump backwards

" NO! I SAID NO! MEANS NO ! Im not gonna let you register in that damn stupid karate club? You're going to be like a boy , walks like a boy , talks like them , violent . Girls don't do that!!!" .

I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat and nodded .

// **End of the flashback** //

I was never brave enough to stand in front of my dad or reply to him or disobey

Or

Ill end up bruised .

Bruised arms , The stitches between my eyes . But mostly

Mental abuse.

From everyone . Family . Classmates . Friends . Society . Humans , who should support you and be tolerated but we are treated like materials.

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Author note

THANK YOU SO much if you read this and i really bloody appreciate it .

Also i made it quite short idk ._. Its just the beginning .

Moreover im not writing this for votes or being "wattpad famous"
I just want to see if idk someone will understand .
Bleh bleh..
>>>> i hope you' ll have a good day if you're seeing this . Smile . Lift your chin . You can be strong . You are not alone in this!

Kaay c: au revoir mes amis