part 3
I wore my t-shirt with my star wars' tights.
I felt wrong . no it doesn't feel right .It's clinging from the sides , and no not from the size of the clothes , but them, but me.
Being exposed like im just into a labeled box of gender that it should be made for everyone to fit into the same shape .
******
Looking from right to left , from behind me , infront of me .. do all of them look at me .
Are they disgusted ? are they confused? do they understand ? do they judge me ?
Mostly do they have the right to ... why am i asking these questions i'll never know , if i don't care?
why do i keep convincing myself that i don't.
what if i do . what if i don't . it makes me frustrated now as im writing cause im wondering and so confused and it is blocking my mind as im thinking.
listening to music . does it really heal wounds or just distract from ... unknown
Do you feel sometimes like scratching your skin to reveal the one who is there ... inside you or you stop halfway terrified of discovering and losing the abbily to stop and turn away.
*****
Some days i forget who i am , who I'm supposed to be , what they see me to be . Every thought just vanishes away and i just be myself , true self...
I breathe normally then , my skin feels less uncomfortable despite the binder that's clutching to my chest.
So slap to the face . Smack . I shook up . At this point I'm reminded again . When someone calls my birth name . When someone calls me "miss" , ask me to do something which supposedly for girls.
No i can't argue . Nope can't fight back . Nah can't correct it.
Why bother with their thick heads.
How much will i stand and block everything i get attacked with and pushed to the edge.
How much until my sparkle will light and burn everything around me.
But i see no use of blocking anymore cause I'm already burning painfully slowly.
YOU ARE READING
•Stranded• ( Gender Identity )
Non-FictionIt's not my skin . Everyday i have to fight into a losing battle with my other side that is buried deep inside . That keeps scratching to show up that keeps screaming in my head. It's not who i am who they expect me to be . They don't know the re...
