A Falice Story

1. A Taste of Their Own Medicine

I snap awake, breathing heavily and tears running down my face. FP wraps his arms around me, pulling me into him, stroking my hair, "Sshhh. Ali, it's okay. It's okay. It was just a dream." My head rests against his chest and I try to control my sobs, "But it wasn't a dream—it—it was real. I was married to a serial killer!" He places a hand on my back, his thumb gently rubbing my skin. "Ssshhh. I'm here now. I won't let anything bad happen to you—or Betty, or Jug." He kisses my forehead gently and wipes away my tears. I meet his gaze and give him a small smile. "I'm sorry I woke you up again." He plants a soft kiss against my lips, "Alice, you don't have to be sorry. That's why I'm here—to protect you."

*

I'd been having these very intense nightmares ever since I found out my ex-husband, Hal, was the Black Hood. I couldn't seem to sleep through the night without waking up terrified. FP has been officially living with us for the past five months—Jughead too.

After a very long, meaningful conversation, we decided to stop ignoring our feelings for each other. He insisted on staying with Betty and I for a couple weeks until reporters got sick of pounding on our door. Of course, in the beginning we kept our relationship low-key and were very careful about making sure FP snuck back downstairs to the couch before Betty woke up.

However, one evening, we thought we had the place to ourselves and decided to take advantage of it. In the midst of our little "endeavor," Betty ended up coming home and although we tried to cover it up, she saw right through us. She wasn't really that upset—or at least a lot less upset than I'd thought she'd be, and simply shook her head and took off for her bedroom.

We had a long talk that night—and it went a lot better than any of our other serious talks which I am extremely grateful for. As much as she thought it was weird and awkward, she admitted that the way FP and I look at each other is the look of true love. The only person we had left to talk with was Jughead—and God, I did not want to know the outcome of that one. FP said he'd talk to the boy and to my surprise, Jughead wasn't too upset--just in shock and ended the conversation with, "Well, now breakfasts are going to be ruined." Typical.

* 

I rested in FP's arms. He's truly the only person in the world who's ever made me feel this safe and loved. He kisses me again and brushes a few blonde hairs out of my face. I take a deep breath, enjoying the moment. "I could be like this all day." He smiles, "I know. Me too."

He leans over and starts kissing my neck, leaving little marks I'm sure. "Honey, we can't right now." He moves down to my chest, "Why not?" he whines. I wrap my arm around his neck, "Because the kids are home and they're going to be getting up to get ready for school in a few minutes!" FP laughs, "Hasn't stopped us before." I roll my eyes, "We'll have the house to ourselves in a couple hours—besides, you have the day off, I have the day off—I can think of plenty of things to do..."

He runs his hands through his hair, "Oh alright. I suppose we can wait." He gives me one last kiss before I get out of bed, putting my robe on. "Thank you for these," I say sarcastically, gesturing to the marks on my neck and chest. FP just smirks, "You're welcome." He gets out of bed too, heading for our bathroom.

I go downstairs to start making the kids breakfast. FP eventually shows up, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Well, hello there," I turn to face him, putting my arms around his neck. "Want some help?" he asks. I kiss him softly, "I would say yes, but every time you do, I never end up finishing what I'm doing," I giggle. FP places me on the counter in front of him, "Let the kids make their own breakfast," he kisses me, soft at first and then with much more passion. I wrap my legs around him and run my hands through his hair. We don't even pay attention to the foot steps coming down the stairs.

"Guys. Seriously?" We both turn to see Jughead giving us the most disapproving look, Betty standing slightly behind him with her hands on her hips. We immediately break apart, and FP helps me off the counter. "Well good morning, kids!" I say overly happy, making FP laugh. They just groan and Betty pours the pancake batter onto the griddle. Jughead pours orange juice, chugging it down. "Hey dad, my bike isn't accelerating like it used to. Can we take a look at it when I get home?" FP nods, "Yeah, of course son." He sits down at the table with his first stack of pancakes, digging in immediately.

It's quiet for a few moments, then Jughead breaks the silence, "So...is there a certain time you want Betty and I to come home after school today? We don't want to—uh, stumble upon anything." he says sarcastically. FP practically spits his coffee out. I feel my face turn bright red, "Jughead!" I say in shock. Betty can't hide her amusement at his comment. He stops laughing and faces me, "Your walls are not as thick as you think they are. When I was in the bathroom this morning, I heard you both have the day off—so we're just being extra cautious!"

FP is dying of laughter, mainly because I'm so damn embarrassed. I just bury my face in my hands and groan, "Thank you for letting us know Jughead." He and Betty continue smirking as they bring the plates to the sink. FP just shakes his head and refills his coffee, "Now get on out of here, you've embarrassed your mom enough for the day," he says ushering Betty towards the door. "Bye guys," they say as they pick up their backpacks and walk out the front door. "Bye kids," I say rolling my eyes. They just laugh as they close the front door.

"FP Jones! Can you believe what your son said to us this morning!" I say still in shock. FP just laughs, "Well, honey, think about it. If we were in their shoes, wouldn't we be doing the same thing?" I know he's right, but I just sigh and twirl a piece of hair around my index finger. Then I get an idea. "Jones, you are absolutely right." He gets out of his chair, pretending to be shocked. "Wait, what—did you just say...I'm right?" I can't help my laughter. He's such a goofball. "Yes, I did. We're going to give them a taste of their own medicine," I say as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Wait, what?" He's clearly confused. "You just said, 'if we were in their shoes, we'd do the same.' Well let's do the same! They think they're being sooooo tricky, like we don't know Jughead sneaks into Betty's room every night!?" FP is slightly taken back, "Wait he—" I cross my arms and raise my eyebrows, giving him a look that says, "Honey, please." He nods, "Yeah...yeah, okay—you're right." I once again wrap my arms around his neck and smirk, "It can't be a coincidence that every time we kiss—or more than kiss, they're always underfoot!"

"What, you think they plan it that way?" he asks. I just shrug, "Remember that night last week when they said they told us they'd be staying overnight at Fred's?" He thinks back, "Yeah." I sit up on the counter in front of him. "And they just 'happened' to decide not to and come barging home?" He groans, "Yeah..."

"Or the time when they said they had play rehearsal at school, but then brought the whole cast of kids here to rehearse?!" He rests his head on my shoulder groaning, "Uhhh, God that's right. I was so excited to finally have alone time with you that day too.." I tip his head up and softly kiss him, "So....give them a taste of their own medicine?" He laughs, "Let's give them a taste of their own medicine!" I passionately kiss him this time, "And you know they'll stop harassing us once they realize we're onto them," I bite my lip, "of course, then things like this can happen a lot more often..." I wrap my legs around his waist and he picks me up, heading for the bedroom. "You're one crazy woman, Alice Smith." I smirk, "That's why you love me."