Thrills, Kills and Sunday Pills

Keeping Comebacks Short and Simple

Something else I like about Reef is how easy she makes things seem, like sleeping for almost eight hours in a car, moving from one place to another for almost two years, describing stuff.

Weird. Unique. Thought of those before, but I've never heard someone call me 'alternative'. I kind of like it, though I'm not entirely sure what it means.

It's nice to know I 'struck' Reef as the person I'd prefer to be. I like to think I'm getting close to that person, who wears the sort of stuff I wear, listens to the stuff I listen to, think about the sort of stuff I think about.

"You struck me as the kind of person you are," I said.

"Who would that be?" she said.

"Well, honestly, at the start you came off as the hugest douchebag I've ever seen," I admitted. "But then you changed, like when you gave me your Foo Fighters sweater last night, and when you offered to drive us both to Time Square."

"Speaking of that sweater, did you bring it back?" she asked.

I pulled it out of my bag and sat it on her lap.

"I was gonna say you can keep it, but if you don't want it-"

"Ok," I said, taking it off her lap and hugging it. She laughed and shrugged.

"Looked better on you than it ever did on me. Plus, I'm near growing out of it," she said.

"Then why give it to me?" I asked.

"Because you're short," she told me. I punched her in the arm and she pretended to swerve off the road and dramatically cry out in fake pain

"Piss streak," I said giggling.

"Doesn't fit me is all I'm saying. It'd fit you better than me," she said and started drumming on the steering wheel, because she had queued Power of the Equality by Red Hot Chili Peppers after my song.

"Something tells me you like this band?" I asked sarcastically.

"No shit, really?" she said, equally sarcastic.

"How many times have you listened to that one album now? Are there any others?" I asked.

"You'll know Californication when you hear it. Everyone does. Queue it up after your next song," she said, and continued to sing.

"Nah, we'll be there in like, two minutes," I said, pointing at the array of billboards and signs lining the road to Time Square. Reef shrugged and continued driving.

She parked about two kilometres from Time Square and we walked in, so we wouldn't be trapped in traffic or have to call a cab.

Walking in, we saw about three people dressed as children icons and so many couples it was crazy. Reef saw one gay couple and laughed for a few minutes, telling me she knew them from a distance.

Reef was hungry, so we head to a McDonalds before we did anything else. I had all the money I imagined I was going to need, which was just over 90 American dollars.

"American food is so cheap," Reef said, shoving a handful of chips in her mouth.

"This is McDonalds. Everything here is cheap trash. America, Australia, Asia, Germany, everywhere," I told her.

"I need to teach you something," Reef said. I settled myself on the overused, greasy McDonalds seats and got ready for a Reef lesson.

"When you say shit like that, like a comeback or something to make people feel stupid, you keep it short," she said. "You following where I'm coming from?"

"I think so," I said. "Give me an example."

"My last comment, everything is cheap in America, think about it for a second," she said, clasping her hands together like she was telling me something deep and important.

"Got it," I said, doing the same thing.

"Ok, what you said after that. Regarding that, the first two sentences in your reply were 'this is McDonalds' and 'everything here is cheap trash'. Those two were pretty good," she said. "Tell me what you said after that."

"I named a bunch of countries and concluded my sentence with 'everywhere'," I said, getting slightly amused by the context of the conversation.

"Tell me, do you think that the last sentence was necessary?" Reef asked.

I thought about it for a second. "No."

"Exactly. Short and simple. I took the blame for the first two sentences, but it was over expanded after that, so it didn't have as much effect," said Reef, unlocking her hands and leaning back like her lesson was complete.

"Ok," I said. "You do it."

"Fine. Say something smart and unnecessary and I'll make you feel dumb about it."

"The way you shove fries into your mouth makes you look like an idiot. You should stop," I said, trying to mask the fact that I wanted to laugh.

"Cool. Why don't you shut your face and take your unfathomable sophisticated arse back to your daddy's million-dollar Bel Air mansion," Reef said with an attitude as she shrugged and waved me off.

"You make it seem so easy," I said, laughing. Reef smiled slightly to her side and put her two fingers to her lips.

"You should get someone to cut your hair because when you do it you look stupid. Nobody likes forced edge."

"Ah but of course, the hypocritical little shit who criticises my hair just happens to be the one who looks like Billie Joe Armstrong in 2009," I said, waiting for Reef to leave feedback.

Reef shrugged. "Better, not perfect, but we'll get there."