hello wattpad!
it's been 2 years since i been on this joint lol.
i am alive and well and i've been thinking about doing some writing.... (dun dun duuuun).... jk
well let me start off by saying.... i'm residing in california at a sober living right now due to the fact that my momma thinks i smoke too much weed *rolls eyes*
yes, i will admit that i did blow a lot of my money of weed AND alcohol and when i did smoke i always wanted to smoke a lot to get even higher.
BUT this is MY journey and MY life therefore MY decision is when i do return home (in late august) i will still smoke weed. but i will make sure i'm using a little bit at a time and not spend my entire paycheck on weed.
so yeah. i just wanted to get that out of the way. i'm going to make this my little journal.... kind of. i feel like i have to be careful with what i say because i don't know who will be reading my shit.
let me also say, i've been gone from home since may 20th and was sent straight to rehab in scurry texas. i been wanting to go home ever since...
"why are you in california then alyssa?" is what you may be thinking
WELL. when i was told that i had the chance to live in California for a few months while my insurance paid for it and all i had to do was STAY SOBER...... you're damn fucking right i took that chance , like i would pass that shit up.
I've ALWAYS wanted to go to cali. and this is was my one chance. i would've regretted it so bad if i had left and went home. as homesick as i am, the beautiful scenery here does kinda make up for it.
Honestly i do struggle with anxiety, depression and self esteem problems as well. so i know that being here is really helping that as well.
My mom was mad because she thought i smoked weed everyday. she absolutely hates any type of smoking. so that already not allowed. she got fed up one day and purchased my plane ticket to a rehab in texas. even though i know i'm not an addict of any hard drugs, i'm glad i been on this journey.
i just hope that everyone back home will understand when i smoke weed again.
So that ends my journal for the night. i'm going to bed because my night meds are kicking my ass right now.
Goodnight!
~lys
