The Dark Side of the Moon

xi

sing me the lullaby of anguish 

x

every night i keep glancing 

on my bedside table

waiting for my phone to buzz 

waiting for your message

maybe, the confession was 

a bomb i left at your front door

and you will never be able to comprehend

the words i gave you

ours was a fragile friendship,

perched precariously on the tip of a finger

and i moved it ever so slightly

and i broke it

all the moments

came flashing inside my mind

and how all those will never

be remade

i understand that it is hard 

to believe

i understand that it does not

make sense

but you're the only thing that 

makes sense in this world so 

broken and chaotic 

and i know you do—

know, of course

i know you know how 

i felt about you 

for all those years

i see it in the reflective surface

of your amber eyes

the feelings chained and

caged in your irises

but when i stare deeper,

those emotions swirling in 

the depths of your eyes

were never for me

still, i pushed through

i thought i guessed wrong

but i was right all along

and i severed the ribbon that tethered us

and now i'm wondering

why you've kept your mouth shut

why you've never given me a single

letter, word, stanza, paragraph, prose

i don't need you to reciprocate 

the words i gave you because you need to

i want you to give me words that really came from your heart

even though it might be a razor cutting my strings

so just give me a message,

   or a single sentence;

   or a single word;

   or just a single emoji of a broken heart

or you could call me

even though i know that the cadence

of your voice will

kill me over and over and over—