In Between Days: Raising Jordan (boyxman)✅

Love Will Tear Us Apart

Jordan

Up even earlier than usual, I wandered around the yard and through the woods, nearly stumbling over the massive poison oak bush that was always out to get me. In addition to the bush, vines of it twirled around this great big pine tree. About eight years ago, after all of Tim's warnings, I wasn't paying attention and tripped, landing right into the bush. As a result of my clumsiness and carelessness, I developed a nasty rash that spread quickly, turning into these disgusting blisters. It was so bad I ended up in the hospital. The school nurse called 911, afraid it was some kind of deadly reaction. Mom was gone and Dad was away (as usual), so Tim was the one who got the phone call.

"Where's his mother?" I clearly remember one of the nurses ask Tim as he arrived in the emergency room in a frenzied panic.

"Away," he  said dismissively. "I'm his guardian."  When Mom went away for the last time, a judge granted Tim temporary guardianship of me (until I was eighteen) because Dad was always traveling somewhere or other. It was Dad's idea in the first place for Tim to become my guardian. I didn't want to stay in the hospital overnight, but they made me. Tim stayed with me the whole time as if he were afraid I'd die or something. Maybe it was because I cried and begged for him to take me home. I even threatened to pull out the IV if he left me there. Tim didn't have to stay with me overnight, but he did. "Someone has to keep an eye on you," he said at the time.

Recalling that night in the hospital, my body itched as if that rash still covered my body.  I carefully walked around the bush, making sure my bare feet didn't come in contact with any of it.

Last night I was up half the night, thinking about Tim and that woman, wondering what it all meant. Was he in love with her? Did he want to marry her? If he married her, then what would happen to me? Would he kick me out? Maybe this was my chance to live on campus or...or...no...my mind was running wild again. Too many thoughts...too many...

Tim was always there for me, whenever I needed him he was there, the only one I could really ever count on. With this woman, he'd no longer be there. He'd abandon me just like Mom and Dad. I knew I needed to grow up. I knew I needed to tell him about Jamie. I knew I needed to tell him the truth. Yeah, I had to grow up. My mind wouldn't stop.

Last night, after that woman left, Tim came to my room and wanted to "talk," but I wasn't in the mood to "talk." I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, not even Jamie. Despite the knocks and text messages, I locked everyone out all night.

Everyone was annoyed at me: Tim because of everything I did or didn't do last night and Jamie because I made him fall into the pond. He hated that pond. I was supposed to visit Mom today, but I wasn't sure I was in the mood for that either. Just the other day Jamie said he'd take me so we could go to the beach again after the visit, but I wasn't sure he'd be willing to take me now.

I went for a long walk, losing track of time, which I had a tendency to do, especially in the summer. Instead of waking Jamie up like I usually did, I decided to hang out in the meadow, lying flat on my back, staring up into the summer blue sky. I wasn't sure how long I had been lying there before a shadow loomed over me blocking the sun. Despite the presence of another human being, I continued to stare into the sky.

"Jordan," the shadow said.

"Jamie," I said.

"Are you okay?" he asked, plopping down on the grass beside me.

"I guess," I said.  "Are you?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," he said. "I'm not angry, if that's what you think." He ran the back of his hand up my arm, sending chills down my spine, but the good kind of chills that made me warm all over. Glancing at him, my heart stopped a second seeing him bare-chested and in a pair of khaki shorts. "Do you want Tim to be happy?" I wasn't sure why he asked me such s question, so I wasn't sure how to respond. "Do you want Tim to be happy?" he asked again.  Annoyed, hurt, and even confused by his question, I sat up, pulling away from him. "Do you?"