In Between Days: Raising Jordan (boyxman)✅

Seven Nation Army

Jordan

Tim and I sat at the porch table to have a so-called serious conversation about me and whether or not I was going to Oxford. Tim was going to do most of the talking since I found it nearly impossible to talk to him face to face.

"What do you mean you're not going?" Art said to me after Tim shared my decision with him. Art led me to believe I didn't have a choice, but Tim said I did.

"Just what I said," Tim said. "He's not going. He'd like to stay and finish his education here."

"That...that's just ludicrous," Art said. I couldn't stand it and looked down at the table, unable to make any kind of eye contact with anyone. Jamie was out somewhere. This was a family discussion and I was sure he didn't want to be anywhere near this conversation. 

"You made all these decisions without asking him," Tim said. "I told you..."

"You need to let him go," Art said, raising his voice. "He's almost twenty years old. When are you going to stop babying him? You're letting him throw this wonderful opportunity away and..." I hated this. I really hated arguments and uncomfortable conversations, especially ones about me. With my knee bouncing up and down, I nervously pulled at my hair.

"This isn't about me," he said. "It's about Jordan and what he wants, but you have no idea what he wants because you never asked him."

"Because the kid doesn't speak and it's because you baby him. It's not normal to act like this."

"If you'd been around, you'd know he's not normal. No, wait, you do know because you wanted to send him to some residential school, a group home like Mom's."

"Are we talking about this again?"

"Because it's true," Tim went on. "You were never there. That's why I became his guardian, which was your suggestion, remember? And just so you know, he does speak. You e heard him. He just doesn't speak to you. Instead you send him text messages."

"It seems like that's the only way to communicate with him." Art turned his attention to me as if he wanted to say something. "I thought you wanted to live on campus."

I couldn't look at him. Instead, I stayed focus on the table, pulling at my hair. I really, really needed a hair cut.

"Sure, campus here," Tim said. "Not abroad."

"How would you really know, huh?" Art said. "You think you know what he wants? You've been speaking for him his entire life, no wonder he's the way he is."

"Now you wait a minute," Tim said. I couldn't take it anymore. Jumping to my feet, I bolted out of there and right into the woods, straight to the pond. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. I was tired of people talking about me, fighting over me. I didn't want to go away. I wasn't even sure about living on campus. What if I had a freak out? What then? I couldn't handle anything at the moment and Jamie was leaving soon and...and...too many changes all at once.

With a frog in my hand, I sat on a log, soaking wet. Even though it was still August, I could smell fall in the air. Jamie would be gone soon and I'd be alone again. Maybe that's the way things should be. After awhile, I let the frog go free and got up, but I didn't head back to the house;,I headed to the field of sunflowers. They were bigger than ever so it was easy for me to get lost in them. I must have fallen asleep out there because it was dark when I opened my eyes. Fortunately I had my phone with me so I could use the flashlight to get back to the house.

"Where the hell have you been?" Tim demanded as I entered the house. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

I didn't want to talk, so I went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Jamie still wasn't back. Freshly showered and in a clean pair of boxers, I went back downstairs and waited for him in the living room. Tim was there, too, but I didn't say anything to him, listening to my music.