Someday

10

Josh's Point of view

It's been weeks. School was school. I had good days and I had bad days. But every night. Every night before I went to bed my mind found a way to bring her into my thoughts.

Every.

Fuckin.

Night.

My mind went to her. My ears wanting to hear her voice, My eyes wanting to see her eyes just once more. My fingers wanting to touch her hair.

Make her smile. Make her laugh. Anything. I want to do anything that would make her happy, never sad.

I never want to make her cry. Only unless the tears were tears of joy.

I missed her terribly. My heart ached. But sadly there's nothing I could do. And me being here trapped in my -hell of a mind- was the same as being a coward. I hope one day.

Someday.

I could get the courage to see her a talk to her. Too look at her. Too smile at her. Too talk to her. Too have a real conversation.

But I was scared.

I know I made a mistake not talking to her in the past after we started the long game.

I know I should have called her. Or texted her good night and a good morning.

But I was scared that she would get sick of me. That she would learn to hate me or at least strongly dislike me.

Me being scared was no excuse and I knew that.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone vibrated. Getting off the bed I go to it and see that Kayla had texted me.

Party on Friday at Ryan's. You're going.

Reading the text I roll my eyes. Kayla and alcohol never ended so well. Last she drank and got wasted she almost went skinny dipping with half of the guys on the NYU's football team.

It was funny. But I stopped her from going too far and making a fool out of herself.

I reply with okay knowing there's was a no chance of me getting out of not going to the party.
I usually don't party. It was always her who made me go. And I am a little thankful cause it distracts me.

Putting my phone on my night stand and lay in my bed and and dream,

Of her.