He's Not Gone

nine

I arrive at my house, running inside. I don't want Jin to upset with me, or yell at me for being late knowing we were having guests. Now that I think about it, he had no right to invite him. He doesn't live here!

"Ahh, there you are! Go say hey to Mark," Jin says. "Jin, you don't live here anymore, who gave you the right to invite him?," I asked trying not to seem pissed. "This is still my house, Jimin, remember who buys y'all groceries, and all the needs that y'all have? If you had a job, maybe I wouldn't have to be doing all of that!," he exclaims. "Hey, you know it's not my damn fault I have no job. I was fired for no damn reason!," I argue. "No damn reason? Jimin, you yelled at a guy that called you cute!," he replies, pointing his finger at me. I push it away and walk into the kitchen. "I had a boyfriend, his name was Min Yoongi, he shouldn't have done that."

Jin follows me into the kitchen, and grabs me by the arm. "How was he supposed to know!" I pull away and groan. "Jimin, what the hell is up with you? Why can't you just be polite and respectful? Just go say hey to Mark, he's in the dining room. We will talk about this later, young man," he scolds. I groan and turn to look at him. "You act as if you were my dad! You're not my dad! I'm not a kid! If you want me to be polite and respectful maybe earn that damn respect!," I backlash. "Jimi-" "Fuck off, don't talk to me you, bitch, I don't care if you're my brother, fuck off."

Ever since our dad left, he's been acting like such a father. I get it, he knew I needed a father figure, we needed a father figure,  but he just crosses the line too dang much.

Once, I had gone and stayed over at Yoongi's house. When I came back he was asking me all these invasive questions such as, "Did y'all have sex?," and "Did y'all kiss?" Why in the world does he care? It's not like I'm going to admit to any of them. He wants respect, yet he doesn't give me any. He invited Mark without my permission. Who gives a fuck if he's the one that buys us almost everything? That doesn't mean he gets to control my life. He's not my father, and he will never be. He's just my brother, nothing more, and nothing less. It just seems he can't get that through his head.

He has his own home with Namjoon, why can't he act like he lives there and not here.

-

I walk into the kitchen, greeting Mark. He smiles at me and stands up to give me a hug. As he hugs me he whispers, "I need to have a talk with you." That sends a shiver down my spine. I'm afraid he's going to try to kiss me again. I put on a fake smile, hence my mom is in the room. A few minutes pass by and Mark and my mom are talking. Jin hasn't walked in yet, so maybe he is rethinking his decision.

"Jimin," I hear. I turn around and see Namjoon standing at the entrance of the dining room. He signals me to come over, and I walk over there, slowly.

"Yeah, what's up?," I ask. "Jimin, you really hurt Jin's feelings," he says. Oh, no. I didn't mean for him to be hurt by me. On the other hand he did piss me off. He deserved it!

"He shouldn't have invited him here without my permisson," I explain. "Jimin, what has got into you? You told him to "fuck off" . That is really disrespectful coming from your part. All he wants is for you to be happy, for you to have a good paying job, and honestly, you should look for a job," he scolds.

I get I did seem to come off pretty disrespectful... Jin is my brother, my older brother at that, and I should give him some respect.. but .. he should try to give me some respect as well. 

"I'm going to go apologise, where is he?," I ask. "His room."

I run up to his room, and slightly knock. "Namjoon?," I hear, followed by a couple sniffs. "It's Jimin," I answer. I hear more sniffs and eventually I hear him sob. I don't even bother to hear a "come in", and I just walk in.

"Jin," I call out. I see him quickly whipe his tears, and try to regulate his breathing. "What," he responds in a harsh tone. "I'm sorry for exploding at you, I didn't mean it, but could you listen to me for once?," I ask.

I'm not expecting for him to listen, and to change the way he is. He's one of those people that say "I won't change for anyone, but myself," and it can be quite annoying. I at least just want him to know how I feel.

"I'm sorry that I was so rude earlier, I was just upset that you invited him without telling me. I could have had plans, I could have had something really important like a job interview, and that invitation would have gotten in the way of that," I explain.

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I just wanted you to be happy, and since you told me you had a new friend, and that he was making you happy, I just wanted the happiness to he more ... happy?"

"It's okay, just please ask me before you do any of that. I beg you. I'm probably going to get a job soon so I need to know," I reply.

He nods and whipes his face. "Jimin, why did you not want me to invite him this time though?," he asks.

I look away from him, and look at the floor to see a movie box laying there.

"We had an argument so I didn't want to face him, but we're going to talk about the issue later, because I think that's what's right."

He smiles and nods. He gets up and walks out. "Let's go eat, I'm starving."

I'm assuming he feels a lot better, he's wanting to eat like usual.

If I'm being honest with myself, I'm afraid of the talk I'm going to have with Mark.

I don't want to go out there, I want to stay in here all locked up. I don't want him to kiss me again, I don't want him to do any more than that. I only want Yoongi to do all that.

If it were up to me I'd tell everyone Yoongi is alive, and that he's still my boyfriend. That I don't need Mark as a coverup, and that Mark tried to kiss me.

I wish everything is okay at the end.