CITY OF THE DEAD ✓

VII. MEMORIES

We kept running through the ruins deeper into the city until exhaustion overpowered us.

After sweeping an empty building, we dropped to the floor of the second level, completely crippled by fear and lack of sleep.

Alexey threw his head back into the corner near the apartment's front door. He shuddered and twitched and couldn't stop moving. Blood drained from the wounds on his face left by Shlykov and Tokmakov's hatred.

His skin was cold to the touch, and he pushed off the floor when I approached him. Alexey grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the floor as if gunfire was about to start any second. His pulse was rapid and I could see it beating through his chest after he froze.

"Are you," his voice trembled, and he had to start again. "Are you okay?"

I choked on the tears coming to my eyes. The salt water washed away gritty earth from my face as I put my head between my knees. Alexey's arm slid around my shoulder. I was in no condition to refuse his advance.

"I'm sorry."

"Vaska," he whispered, his shivers fading. "Vaska, look at me."

"I can't." My sleeve pressed against my nose as I continued to cry the ash off my face. "I can't, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Alexey's eyes softened with the mist that lined them. His face had water trails that ran through the layer of Stalingrad which clung to his skin. "Don't apologize for emotion, it has to escape. Keeping it internal does no good for anyone."

"It's Nika. She was- I'm sorry, I can't talk."

"Don't." His hand slid off my back and he rested his head against the corner, closing his eyes to release the last of his tears.

"Alexey?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry, about Yeremenko and for making you confront the sadists in the dugout. Forgive me, please. I've done nothing but put you in harm's way."

"Shh, it's all right." His arm wrapped around me at my waist instead of my back and I leaned on his shoulder. "Stalingrad at this point is hell. Now, you tell me which selfish brat would let an old friend go to hell alone. I'll give you a hint; it's not me."

I managed a brisk smile. Alexey stared into the ruins of the third building we had found ourselves in as I heard an all too familiar scream fade from somewhere amidst the ruins.

Nika was on her stomach beneath her bed. Her dark hair fell into eyes of the same color while she shook just as another shell collapsed the ceiling. Ash and shrapnel rained on the furniture. She shrieked and closed her eyes.

German soldiers lobbed a hand grenade in through the window, and we stared at it, waiting for it to detonate. Yet it didn't, and the shadows crept across the bits of the broken window.

"Vaska."

Her voice shook as she pushed off the wall with her foot.

"No! Nika! No!"

There was no blast as she stopped midway between our two beds. I shook my head, and she disobeyed while dancing around the hole in the floor with the help of her ballet training. She slipped beneath my bed and I held tightly again against my chest. Nika had snuck past Death as he slept.

I pressed my lips to the back of her head and she retracted her legs to her chest, leaning back against me.

"Vasilisa, I'm sorry."

Alexey pulled me back from the vision. "Who do you see?"

"My sister."

"May I ask what happened?"

"They didn't take out the pin before throwing the grenade into our apartment. They wanted to lure us out. So Nika got out from beneath the bed, took one step into the hallway as I was getting out from beneath it and they got her."

"Don't talk if it's going to make you upset. The story can wait."

"She was my sister. I don't know what they did, their names, nothing. Her screams are still in my head and they won't leave- neither does her gunshot. They just stay in my memories where they can replay over and over until I can't take it anymore.."

I broke into tears as Alexey pulled me to his chest.

"I remember seeing her standing on the edge of your side of the street. She had an instrument case in her hand; a violin or something. You were behind her, watching over her shoulder, telling her when to cross the street because of the cyclists. She wanted independence, yet you couldn't let her go."

He sighed before letting the silence take its place. Alexey took a series of staccato breaths before shuddering and letting his emotions run.

"Sometimes we have to let things go. We have to let memories and the people in them dissolve into mist and leave our thoughts once and for all."

"If Yeremenko walked through the door, what would you do?"

"Apologize. I left him to rot in a building. After that; I'd beg him to forgive me."

"You aren't following your rule. Yeremenko is dead and so is Nika. But, we still think about them- about what we'd say if they were still alive."

"Tolya, he went by Tolya." Alexey held back the majority of his tears although his entire body was shuddering. "Fuck him for leaving. God, what am I saying? It wasn't even his fault."

I stared at a pair of unfamiliar eyes more worn than when I first saw them. He turned to the wall, shaking off the tears from his waterline, trying to hide his partner. He attempted to hide from the war beyond the walls and from his own demons.

I ignored them as I slipped my fingertips up the side of his face, cleared the layer of ash off his skin and I leaned forward to kiss him.

─────

Be sure to vote if you enjoyed this chapter.

Until next time.
- Elle ♡