His Mute Mate

ch.39

Winter

Its been about four days since I woke up and Dean has been stressing with pack stuff, I guess some rouges have been wondering close to pack grounds reasently. He said they set up camp about a mile away so be needs to see if its safe still. Due to all of this he's been coming back to the house later and has been exhausted. I tried to get him to take a day off and sleep but he wouldn't listen and said it was his job to keep everyone safe. I understand he's the alpha and all but he needs to take care of himself too.

Maybe he's lying to you and he's actually going to visit some other girl. I mean if I had to date you I would to. Adrian's voices cuts into my head. Dean isn't like that, he wouldn't do that. Are you sure about that I mean you're such a burden it would be hard to stay loyal to someone with as many issues as you have. He doesn't care about my problems and he has his own problems he understands. Or maybe that's what he tells you. You just got out of the hospital due to some unknown reason four days ago, and he's been 'working late' 'with pack duties' since you got out. If you ask me something seems fishy there. No! Dean isn't like that he cares about me and he loves me.

Love is just an overused word people say when they want something or can't explain why they're drawn to someone. Besides I doubt he would love someone like you without that mate bond of yours. I take a deep breath and build up the wall around him. As soon as its up and he's gone I feel my other walls crashing down. What if he's right? Its not like I haven't thought about weather or not Dean would still think of me the same way if he wasnt pretty much forced to love me. He's reassured me many times but I don't know.

Unknowingly tears fall down my face in slow trails leading from my eyes. Maybe he wouldn't even give me the time of day. He probably wouldn't have even talked to me if he didn't feel the bond. Silently tears fall down my face faster and faster dripping off my chin. I'm not even sure why I'm crying I know he loves me. The bond doesn't make you love someone it just makes you want to protect them with your life. It doesn't make you love someone but it does make whatever feelings you get for your mate stronger. But still here I am questioning his love and if its real all because of a guy I don't even care about.

I need to stop thinking about this its only tearing me apart. Slowly I stand up and wipe my face before walking it the door. As soon I'm outside I breathe in the fresh air. The sun was out but it wasnt that bright and had more of a mellow glow. The winter cold was still there but it was heating up as we approached May. Even still it wouldn't get to hot like it does in other places thankfully.

I make my way to my tree and take a seat leaning against it. Something about this forest is calming in a way that I can't explain. Its the first place I think to go when im troubled. I've never really felt a lot of panic here and if I have then it wasn't much. I figured out some of my gifts here, learned a little bit of what I'm capable of.

As my eyes start to grow heavy I decide to shift and let Snow run free. As I was in the hospital she didn't get to come out much and I'm sure she'll love to run. As soon as im in my wolf form I take off and let Snow take the lead. We run and run to nowhere in particular just somewhere. The wind rushes through my cote as I run faster. It was fun and I felt free from my worries. Then I heard a noise coming from the side of me.

Quickly I got into a defensive position and growled at whoever was near. Though it wasnt really me it was Snow. I stand my ground as I hear even he growl of the animal in the bushes. I start sniffing the air to see if it a familiar sent or at least a pack member im yet to meet. I take in a big whiff of something horrible. Its almost like a mix of dirt and mold along with blood. Its a rouge. Of course it is. The growling of the packless wolf continues. I growl back waiting back before I take off running.