Whatever Happens

Chapter 1

Becca and Ben.

I sighed, running my fingers over our names on the old picture frame. If only pairing our names together meant more than friendship to anyone in the world, other than me.

Ben and I had known each other our whole lives. We grew up next door to each other and went to all the same schools. Our moms had even been in the same Lamaze class. To me, it made total sense that we should keep the trend going and date.

Unfortunately for me, Ben saw me as a sister. Or I'm assuming anyway since he never asked me out or tried to kiss me or anything.

I didn't get it though. We were literally perfect together. We liked all the same movies and music and sports. We had the same sense of humor and a lot of the same friends. We were even heading to the same college.

So why hadn't he ever thought of changing our relationship?

Turning to look in the mirror, I frowned. I guess I wasn't really his type.

Ben usually went out with blondes with perfect hair and perfect bodies and perfect trendy girly clothes. He wasn't so shallow that he stuck to the Barbie image all the time, but a few of his girlfriends could definitely be put in the Barbie category.

I definitely did not fit into that category. I was totally average. I wasn't tall and I wasn't short. I wasn't super skinny and I wasn't chunky. Even my face was average. I got asked all the time if my name was something else or if I knew someone that I didn't, because I looked so common. My eyes were an average brown and my hair almost matched. To make matters worse, I had glasses. I had contacts too, but I could rarely stand them for very long. And so, even though they made me feel like a nerd, I usually wound up wearing my glasses because it was easier.

I thought of dying my hair blonde before, since that's apparently what Ben liked, but I couldn't do it. It would look stupid and like I was trying too hard.

Unfortunately, I wasn't sure how else to make Ben notice me as anything other than his buddy. Maybe if I wasn't so shy, I could have actually done something to make him see me differently. But even thinking about it, made me a little panicky.

Besides, what if he had tried thinking of me differently before and just decided that he didn't feel that way about me? Any attempt on my part might just ruin our friendship.

And now that we were heading for college, there would be hundreds of new girls for him to notice. Hundreds of girls who were all more perfect than me and who were comfortable flirting. Girls who actually did the whole girly make up and hair and clothes thing.

I wasn't a total Tomboy, but I definitely wasn't girly. My mom worked a lot while I was growing up. She didn't have time to teach me that stuff, and I wasn't very comfortable doing all of it anyway. I'd always been far more interested in playing with Ben and doing the things he liked to do, to worry about nail polish and shopping and those things.

But maybe I should have tried to take an interest. Maybe Ben would have noticed me by now if I seemed more like a girl.

With a sigh, I shook my head. I guess there was no changing it now. At least we were going to the same place. We'd be taking a lot of the same classes and spending a lot of our free time together.

Maybe I'd be able to do something then to make him notice me. It would be a new start for both of us. Maybe I could figure out some way to get his attention.

Yeah right! I laughed at myself. And maybe I'd take up skydiving as a hobby.

"Becca!" Mom called from downstairs. "Ben's here. Are you ready?"

No, I definitely was not ready for this change, but that's not what she meant.

"Yeah," I called back. "I'll be down in a minute."

Turning, I looked around my room, trying to figure out if I was forgetting anything vital. I glanced at the picture on my shelf again. It was of Ben and me when we were thirteen. He was carrying me on his back and I was hugging his neck. We looked so happy. It was one of my favorite pictures, but it was also really juvenile looking. I'd painted the frame myself and stuck our names on it. Tempting as it was to bring it, I knew it would seem odd. I didn't want to have to explain to my new roommate or anyone else who saw it, that Ben and I were just friends. It was the sort of thing a girlfriend might have, and unfortunately, that's not what I was.

A knock on the door came seconds before it opened.

"Hey." Ben appeared. "Can I carry anything down?"

I smiled, noting how perfect he looked in his jeans and deep blue shirt that matched his eyes. His dark hair was just messy enough and I could already tell that he smelled really good.

"Those two," I said, pointing at the large suitcases on the floor before patting the duffel bag on my bed. "I'll carry this one down with my pillow."

"Is that all?" he teased, going over to grab the first one.

"We're not going over night," I said. "I need stuff."

He grunted when he lifted the suitcase and felt how heavy it was.

"Does the stuff you need include bricks, by any chance?"

I laughed. "Just a few."

Chuckling, he took the bag and headed for the door.

When I knew he wouldn't see, I allowed myself to appreciate the way his muscles bulged in his arms.

He left the room and I frowned, realizing that covert glances like that were really all I had, and all I would ever have.

Oh Ben, why couldn't you just see me?