Whatever Happens

Chapter 6

Over the next several weeks, I got used to my schedule. It was hectic, but not too bad otherwise. Work wasn't much better than my first day had been, but at least I hadn't blown anything up.

After having to be rescued several more times, I was finally given step-by-step instruction cards for the most common issues. If something else came up that I didn't know what to do about, I was supposed to call whoever was around to help. Which happened a lot at first. Jen was usually patient with me, but I knew a few of the others hated me.

Mostly, I was starting to get the hang of things though. I still had to call people too many times, but it was lessening, at least.

My classes became a little more challenging, but they still weren't very hard. Usually, I tried to pay attention enough to get the gist of whatever we were doing, before I messed around with Ben, Dean, or Jackson. At least, I messed around with Ben in English. History had never been either mine or Ben's best subject, so I made him pay attention in that class.

And then there was Speech. It was a nightmare, of course, but it hadn't been completely terrible yet. The really bad stuff would come later. For now, it was just simple stuff that didn't take a lot of thought. Courage, yes, but not too much brain power.

The really terrible thing was, Ben started dating. I knew it would happen, but still, when he told me that he had a date that first night and wouldn't make it to dinner, I'd been so upset, I skipped completely. It was bad enough to watch him flirting with different girls, but to see him actually start dating them, was awful.

Not wanting to abandon me completely, Ben had suggested that I go with Dean. I told him I wasn't feeling well and so it was fine that he planned to go without me. It actually wasn't a lie. The thought of him dating and eventually getting semi-serious with someone who wasn't me - again, actually made me sick.

I should be used to it by now, I suppose, but I still hated it. Once Taylor left the room, I cried for a while, wondering once again, why I wasn't good enough.

After I'd gotten used to the idea, I was better and I was able to act as though it didn't bother me. Unfortunately, that only lasted long enough for Ben to start seeing Hailey pretty regularly.

In any other situation, I might have liked Hailey. She wasn't nearly as ditzy or shallow as a lot of those other girls were. If I were being totally honest, she was actually kind of nice. Of course, I still hated her, but the fact that she was sort of likable, made my charade a little easier.

"I wish I had your genius brain. Then I'd actually be able to do something to help those people," Ben said as we ate lunch, after visiting at the hospital for a few hours.

Now that Ben was dating Hailey, I didn't get to see him that often. At least, not while it was just the two of us. Most nights, he went to dinner with her, and she was usually there at lunch. The only other time I saw him without her, was during English and History, and it's not as if we were spending quality time together there.

But visiting the hospital on Saturdays and lunch afterward, was our thing. Ben almost never told anyone about his dad, and so he never really wanted anyone else to come to the hospital with him. No one else even knew that his dad was the reason Ben wanted to be a police officer.

Eventually, I knew that would all change when he got really serious with someone. For now, though, it was our secret.

I put my hamburger down and looked at him seriously. "You are doing something."

"You know what I mean," he said.

I nodded. "Yeah, I do. I also know that what your doing can make a huge difference for those people."