VAN HALEN'S: JUMP BEGINS TO PLAY
TITLE CARD: THE ACQUAINTANCES
OPENING CREDITS BEGIN TO PLAY
ACT 1-SCENE 3:
Behind the back shot of Captain Sarcasm running, Van Halen's Jump is still playing. He reaches a building and stops next to a man who is looking up. Van Halen's Jump fades out.
CAPTAIN SARCASM: What's happening. (Sarcastically) I really need to know.
RANDOM GUY: Was that sarcasm?
CAPTAIN SARCASM: (Sarcastically) No.
RANDOM GUY: Whatever, man. That guy is about to kill himself. He's going to jump.
CAPTAIN SARCASM: (Sarcastically) Give me a megaphone. I need to talk to him.
RANDOM GUY: Stop being sarcastic.
Random Guy hands him a megaphone.
CAPTAIN SARCASM: (Sarcastically) Don't do it!
JUMPER: Fine! I'll jump!
RANDOM GUY: What are you doing? Stop being sarcastic! He's going to do it.
CAPTAIN SARCASM: (Sarcastically) Don't jump!
JUMPER: Goodbye cruel world!
Captain Sarcasm looks around anxiously. He is panicking.
CAPTAIN SARCASM: (Sarcastically) I'm not trying to be sarcastic! I seriously don't want you to do it!
JUMPER: (Sarcastically) Sure you don't.
The jumper jumps. He hits the ground and cries out.
JUMPER: OW! I BROKE MY LEGS!
RANDOM GUY: How could you! He was going to jump! You're lucky he didn't die.
But Captain Sarcasm is gone on his bike, pedaling away as fast as he can. Tracking shot of Captain Sarcasm riding away. 10cc's: I'm not in Love, fades in.
ACT 1-SCENE 4:
Captain Sarcasm reaches his house and opens the door. He sits down on the couch. Newspaper articles line the walls. Camera does a medium shot of Captain Sarcasm, and then it blurs him out, focusing on the articles. One reads in large text: MAN WHO CAN ONLY SPEAK SARCASTICALLY SAVES A CAT. Camera pans around all of the articles, another reading: PROTESTS AGAINST CAPTAIN SARCASM.
All of a sudden, someone knocks on the door. The Chain, By Fleetwood Mac begins to play, getting louder the closer Captain Sarcasm gets to the door. He opens the door.
CAPTAIN SARCASM: (Sarcastically) Sorry, I already support enough charities.
Captain Sarcasm moves to shut the door, but a hand stops it.
AGENT JONES: I'm not a charity.
The Chain is now at 3:03. Captain Sarcasm's hands move towards the side of the wall. Close up of his hand gripping around a bat.
CAPTAIN SARCASM: What are you here for then?
Captain Sarcasm's back is turned.
AGENT JONES: Important business. We've got a situation.
Captain Sarcasm suddenly lashes out with the bat, but Agent Jones catches it, and pulls it out of Captain Sarcasm's hands. Agent Jones swings it hard at Captain Sarcasm's chest, but Captain Sarcasm ducks underneath it. Captain Sarcasm swings a punch at Jones, but Jones catches it. Agent Jones kicks, but Captain Sarcasm catches it and throws him onto the floor. Agent Jones is lying on the floor.
YOU ARE READING
The Acquaintances
Humor{SCRIPT} A dark force is rising, and it is so powerful that only one elite group of superheroes can stop it: The Avengers. However, I don't have the rights to them, so here we are. A group of powered individuals assemble. One can only talk sarcastic...
