Seducing Montreux

All Tied Up

The clock beside the bed read 4:08 AM. I had fallen asleep out of pure exhaustion….mental exhaustion. The open suitcase was still lying where I had left it the night before, along with Roger’s silk shirt. I rubbed my bloodshot eyes and pushed myself up. This bed seemed to go on for miles. I yawned and pushed myself to the edge, letting my feet hit the floor. I breathed in deeply and looked around the darkened room. It was dreadfully lonesome in here and I feared looking in the mirror at myself because I was certain I’d look as if a train had run me over. I finally stood up and picked up my empty suitcase, putting it back into the closet from where I had taken it last night. I walked over to the door of the bedroom and unlocked it, slowly and quietly pushing it open. Roger and I had never fought the way we had the night before…that is, if one would even have called it a fight. I wasn’t quite sure what it was. However, we had both had a night to sleep on it, a night to think. I peered into the darkness of the sunken room. The embers of the fire had burned down and what was left was a smoldering skeleton of wood.

 Quietly, I stepped out of the bedroom, my bare feet sinking into the plush carpet. I could see a bottle of brandy, an ashtray and a pack of cigarettes sitting on the table before the couch and an empty glass. I had no idea where Roger managed to get a bottle of brandy so I could only assume it had been room service. He was laying on the couch and I noticed he hadn’t even bothered changing clothes. He was wearing the same clothes that he had worn to the courthouse the day before. I wasn’t sure if he was asleep or awake as I approached him. Despite my attempts to be quiet, he was startled as I slipped in front of the couch. He inhaled sharply and sat up. “Lydia! Oh god…Lyd…” Roger looked at me frantically as he moved over, eyeing me as I sat down beside him. I watched as he tentatively reached a hand out to my thigh. I think he felt certain I was going to slap him away but I didn’t. My eyes remained on his palm as he moved his hand along my thigh. I made eye contact with him in the darkness of the spacious and slightly drafty room.

 “I…I never told you why I signed it.” I said.

 “Huh?” was his response.

 “You asked me why I hesitated to sign our marriage license…and I told you. Well, I didn’t tell you why I did sign it.” Roger looked at me with sleepy and hopeful eyes in the faint light. He shook his head at me, his hand still on my thigh.

 “I’m listenin’.” He said, his voice a little hoarse.

 “You never once judged me for comin’ from money. Never once. You’d bring my these horribly dry and lifeless sandwiches when I was still in the university and didn’t have time for lunch between classes. They were awful but your heart was in them. You’d always walk my back to my flat after the late night class I had because you thought it was safer for me.” I paused for a moment and put my hand on his. That one summer I was starvin’ myself because I was terrified of gainin’ weight…you ate with me instead of forcin’ food down me and that’s why I recovered from it.” I could feel a lump formin’ in my throat. “You took your first paycheck from your first record deal…and you took me out to that hole in the wall pub for fish and chips and beers.” I could see Roger smile a little as he blinked.

 “I ‘member that. That was a good night.” I shook my head.

 “It was. I remember you bringin’ my mail up to me almost every day when you came over to my flat. I’d buzz you in and you’d come upstairs with that smile on your face…” I started to cry every so faintly. “…and you’d say…hey, Lyd. How was your class today?” Roger and I said it in unison. “And then you’d kiss me…and hand me the mail…” I’m not sure why that got me so worked up but it did. Roger reached up to me and wiped my tears. “That night that Chrissie met Brian for the first time…you and I laid in bed and you told every one of your fears dreams. God, you poured your soul out to me Roger. There was that time the power went out on that cold January night when we first moved in to the old house. You and I gathered up all the blankets, built a fire and slept in front of the fireplace. You held me your arms…and kept me so warm.” Roger smiled at me, larger this time.