sticks and stones may break my bones

breakthrough?

i no longer feel attracted to a girl i've (consciously) been crushing on ever since january.

(consciously because i remember acting awkward and fluttery around her like all throughout middle school oops but i thought i was a straightie at the time)

but anyway~ i don't know whether it's because of one thing or another

one, i've been actively avoiding her (even probably losing a friend becausw that friend is around her like the only time i see her oops)

or two, i've been feeling a whole lotta Nothing lately, like i'm  empty

and around this time of the month my hormones start kicking in if ya know what i mean

((not the hormones that give me cramps and chocolate cravings if ya need a hint))

sigh

i should probably start bugging Friend Who Knows Who's Crushing On Me so i can have a 5% chance of getting a grilfriend anyway