Pensées quotidiennes

¿ Life ?

Since I've got no electricity, I decided to write for a bit, because since the beginning of May, my life changed, lots of staff happened and I suffer from all of those events. I need help, that I can't ask, I need love, that I don't have, I need friends, and not fake ones...
Salut, pour ceux qui ne parles pas l'anglais, désolé mais j'arrivais pas à écrire cela en français, et puis de toute façon c comme ça ...
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So how shall I start this ? Well let's just begin with the holidays. For the holidays, I went to France, with my family, since we had bought a new house near the seaside. So I continued talking with my friend using Whatsapp, especially to two persons; Marshmallow ( my crush ) and a girl that i'll just call Teddybear ( because I LOVE teddy bears !) and I just loved both of them, but I don't really know how to explain this... I love with all my heart Marsh, like I'd do everything not to loose her, but I also love Teddybear. But differently, but I know that it's still love. So one day, I dreamt of Marshmallow, telling me she loved me and she kissed me. At first, I didn't believe it, but them looking at the background, school, I found it real. But unfortunately, it was just a dream. But I thought that it meant something so i grabbed my courage and phoned her. after a bit, I asked her if she wanted to go out with me, and what would happen if I kissed her. And, she replied
" Honestly, I don't know what i'll do because if I'd have to go out wit someone know, it will probably be you, but I don't know i'm kind of lost, I still love someone else..."
so basically she didn't know, and for the kissing part she sailed that she'd probably slap someone else and never talk to the person again, but with me, it would be different, and she didn't know how to react...