[Untitled Story] [kryber version]

So Close

Pairing: Krystal/Amber

One-shot (Amber POV)

Synopsis: Does this really have to be the last goodbye?

A/N: Obviously inspired by Jon Mclaughin's "So Close." (Give it a listen, it's legit dope). And OMG. It gets longer the more you read. Another one-shot, yay! :D

So Close

I.

I'm going back home in three days. I try convincing myself that US is still my home, that it's where I belong, considering that I don't have nothing to lose here in Korea. I don't have a someone. After our group performed our final goodbye stage and had our celebratory/goodbye party last week, I'm now taking care of my visa, my apartment and my belongings. I'm going back home. I'm going back home. But it's hard, it's honestly hard to stop myself from thinking of you when I say the word home. Pathetic, I know.

II.

I thought we had (have) something special. That you're my princess, and I'm your servant. That you're my ddungie, and I'm your llama. Turns out, it's all part of a show, fan service, you say to me. That means that all the hopes, the daydreams, and the delusions I've had of you feeling the same way that I feel are indeed just hopes, daydreams and delusions alone. I smile sadly to myself, wishing that everything happens for the best.

III.

I regard my apartment one last time, looking around, memorizing each wall, each room, each and every memory that I've had in here. Flashes of you lazying around in the kitchen, just in your shorts and my huge hoodie, baking your infamous cookie; your head lying on my lap as we watch Finding Nemo for the one hundredth time because according to you (and I quote) "it's the best freaking fish movie of all time"; you attempting to solve the rubik's cube, but the endeavour always ending up with the cube thrown at the opposite side of the room because of your frustrations; you playing around with Jack Jack and my other "babies"; the two of us celebrating your 20th birthday, staying in and eating Chinese take-out; you playing my piano while I play the guitar, testing out my newly composed song: Goodbye Summer (singing the lyrics out made an awkward atmosphere between us and I felt it that time), but you end up convincing me to present the song to manager oppa; you randomly dancing and ardently singing your heart out to a Glee song (I wanna dance with somebody), not knowing that I just entered the room and have just witnessed the whole thing; you teaching me how to bake but somehow we wnd up messing up the apartment because of a food fight; but the most prominent one is: you and I just being. You being you and me being me. Krystal and Amber. Amber and Krystal. Us and only us. And now us has been reduced to a simple heart-wrenching word that came out of your mouth the night after our goodbye stage: fan service. "It was plain and simple fan service, Amber. Nothing more, nothing less." And then you walk away.

IV.

I haven't seen you since that night. I've already said my final goodbyes to the members. Sulli gave me her favorite pen, saying to me that having it would make me write my Korean better. ("I'm gonna miss you so much, hyung. Try forgetting about us and you'll die, araso?!"). Luna gave me her animated plush pillow and her first bible, hugging me tight and already sobbing once she caught sight of me in the dorm. ("Yah! You jerky koala, this doesn't mean you won't visit okay?! I'll always be tweeting Jackie unnie to make sure you don't stop speaking in Korean. And you promise me Disneyland, don't you dare not take me someday.") Victoria unnie handing me our group's first trophy and our group's photo album, sending me a small and understanding smile, while tears are on her face. ("We'll always, always gonna be f(x), okay, Eunyoung? Always). I hug them with all my might. And I'm not shy to say that the tears we shed could fill a couple of buckets.