BREEDERS

Chapter Five: Perspective

My mother tried to speak to me on multiple occasions since that argument, and I was not having any of it. I had not even looked her in her eyes, something she had begged me to do multiple times. She was constantly in trouble and somehow it all fell back on me. I didn't even know how much money she owed Franky- but after what she said about the Darkside girls wanting some form of protection... and to blatantly have them given placebos...

I was sick.

Sam had risked his life for some high priced aspirin.

Thinking of Sam my stomach churned. I was late. My period was late. As if I was not under enough stress, I hadn't seen Sam since that night either. How could he say what he said to me? Why was I the selfish one for wanting better in my life? How come Sam never thought himself to be selfish even though he knew I was miserable in Sector D? I sat on my bed and read the Biology book that was assigned to me this past month by our "school." It was a joke that it was even classified as a school. Once you hit puberty, the only kind of math you needed to know was how to multiply- in the physical sense.

My mother walked in, ever so carefully and I could hear the rustling of a paper bag behind me.

"I got stuff from the Clinic," she said while shaking the bag. I know what it is and I cringe. My mother knew my cycle to the very day, which means the Clinic would know if something was amiss. I ignored her and she placed the bag of sanitary napkins in front of my face.

"You can't ignore me forever."

"Yes I can," I huffed. I could feel the slight tremors of a back ache and hoped for my period.

"I haven't needed to do your sheets yet. Usually I have to about this time."

"That's because I can wash my own," I snapped. I flicked the bag of feminine products away from me and rolled over onto my side facing the wall.

"Salice, how many times do I have to tell you that I didn't mean for this to happen. I mean if you think about it it's a good thing that the stuff was just aspirin or Sam would have been executed. So would Sarah."

"Don't make yourself out to be the hero in all of this. There are some girls in Darkside who are screwed because of you-"

"Don't start with that Salice. The chances of Darkside girls getting pregnant is as likely as you eating another burger again."

"There's still a chance-"

"I don't get it. Are you mad that I gave a batch of placebos to Franky for Darkside, or because Sarah got pregnant? There are very few girls who can produce and I'm not that worried about Darkside."

"Sarah won't make it. Sam will kill himself." I tugged on a stray strand of curly hair and plucked it out.

"I think you're more angry with yourself rather than me. That you might have blown that whole dream of getting out of here away for a one night stand."

I looked up with her, biting the insides of my cheek. "You are rather familiar with one night stands aren't you? Not everyone wants to whore themselves out, Janice." Before she could answer there was a loud beeping that rang through the air, a low hum of vibration coming from her hip.

She looked down at the beeper the clinic handed her the day I started my cycle. "You have to go in," she announced, her eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Why? I have an appointment set up for Tuesday. They shouldn't need to see me." I could feel my lungs inflate but I felt as though I could not breathe. "They can't know about me and Sam!"

"They won't, calm down. It might just be that they found a donor."

Oh Janice- my mother, the voice of reason.