It all began in a hospital in Berlin. On May 15th of the year 2003 a little "girl" named "Julia" was born there. (aka me lol)
My parents were happier than ever (especially because I was born alive and almost 100% healthy after only 8 months of pregnancy). There was still a chance that I could die anytime, but as you can see that didn't happen xD
Now, moving on to the more interesting part, if you look at some (veeerrryyy) old pictures of me, you can see that I could act and look all feminine on one day and do the opposite of that on the next day.
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That is a thing which never really changed.
I grew up as a normal stereotypical girl who had long hair, loved make up, often had painted nails and so on. But I didn't do that to look "more beautiful" or to impress someone. I simply tried to find a way I liked myself.
At the time when puberty, periods and that "becoming a whole female human being" - thing started for me, I had more insecurities than I've ever had before. I didn't feel comfortable with my body and how I looked at all. And that was one of the reasons I developed an eating disorder.
But I noticed that losing weight wasn't enough for me. I still didn't like the way I looked. So as an experiment I went from this...
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... to this ...
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... in less than a year. I started slowly by only cutting a little bit of my hair off. But I ended up cutting it every day
and one day I just took my scissors and chopped as much off as I could without being unable to do my fringe like I used to.
Most of the time I was confused because, as I already said, I could hate everything girly and try to look 100% masculine on one day and wear dresses and make up the next day. But I noticed that I'd want to change into my beloved sweatpants and oversized hoodies or shirts as soon as I heard the words "girl", "feminine", "she" or my birthname.
Apart from that I always liked my chest better when it was flat (I used all kinds of (healthy and unhealthy) methods to flatten my chest before I even knew I was transgender), I always hated my birthname and I always secretly liked being called male pronouns or being "mistaken" for a boy.
Still being unsure I told some close friends my little secret and they started calling me Jace and male pronouns almost all the time. I realized that I liked it and felt more comfortable.
Speaking of feeling more comfortable, I got a haircut again. This time it was shorter than ever and it made me so happy that I still have the same haircut after like half a year or something. (idk exactly)
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Then, actually only a few weeks ago, I noticed that I see myself with a male body and deep voice in my dreams. And that was when it hit me (right in the face xD). So I was finally really sure this is right.
Sooo this was my "short" storytime. I tried to keep it short xD (kinda failed tho xD) Anyways, I hope you liked it. Thank you for reading. ♡
