Here's to Heaven ~ Frerard

chapter four

AN: VERY BIG TRIGGER WARNING IF YOU HAVEN'T LISTENED TO ANY OF THEM BEFORE, LISTEN TO THIS ONE. THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS ARE GOING TO BE VERY DARK.

I'll put a trigger warning in front of the scene and a description in the comments at the end. Please stay safe.

today

It was the day. That day; and Gerard was more giddy than he'd ever been.

And giddy wasn't always necessarily happiness.

Giddy was adrenaline coursing through his veins, making his fingers shake violently, and the hairs on the nape of his neck stand up whenever someone so much as brushed him. He was fidgety, to the point where most of his fingers were sore from the way he pulled at them to relieve the incredible anxiety pounding in his head.

Was he nervous? Yes.

Excited? Even more so.

The days had dragged on for years, and this was his last one and he was so fucking glad. He had Frank sleeping on the other couch, and a comic book in his hands, and he still hadn't slept, but coffee was doing the job just fine. The sun was just about to rise, peeking through the roofs of neighbouring houses and causing them to glow, just slightly. The silhouettes of power lines remained ebony and blurred slightly at the edges, fault of the haze of Gerard's tired eyes. Frank's breaths sung in tune with the birds singing outside, and it was so calm and peaceful; Gerard almost didn't want to let it go, he couldn't. And behind the uneven breaths and awful swelling butterflies in his stomach, there was something. If he hadn't imagined it, Gerard would say it was hope, of all things.

And hope felt like the pinks that painted the clouds, and the yellow creating a halo around Frank's hair, the stars slowly fading into a soft baby blue, and the street lights flicking off, and how the earth seemed to have an aura of blue filtering everything as everyone still slept.

Gerard savoured it. He grabbed his phone and took a photo of it, filing it in front of everything else. He wanted dawn to be the last thing he remembered.

;;;;;;;;;;

Frank, much to his dismay, had to go back to school that day. Despite presenting a strong case as to why he should be allowed to laze around with Gerard once again, his mother won, sending the boys off to school in Gerard's car. Frank had groaned the whole way about how much pain he was in, but Linda seemed to shrug it off, leaving Frank to stare dramatically out the window with his earbuds in.

Gerard had twelve hours left to live. Well, eleven hours and a bit more; but the time was eight thirty eight in the morning, and Gerard assumed he'd be dead by eight in the evening, if everything went to plan.

He almost felt bad. Guilt tugged at his edges, as he saw Frank's peaceful face, and imagined how it would never be the same. Frank would never be the same.

But that was okay. Everything would be okay in twelve hours; he wouldn't be here to see the damage he caused. He just had to make it through the day.

"I'll pick you boys up after school," Linda sighed, after she pulled up at the school. "No more broken bones today."

"Fuck off," Frank grumbled under his breath, ripping out his earbuds and shoving them into his hoodie pocket. "Fucking hurt, that did."

"What's got you so pissy?" Gerard mocked, sneering when Frank gently swung at him with his cast. "Oh, come on. You were in a better mood yesterday."

"'Cause I wasn't in school yesterday."

"It's the final year, Franks, not too far to go," Gerard suggested, internally criticizing himself for making things harder on his friend.