If Atem Lived in my Head

Atem's mother

      "Stop!" My voice scratches my throat as I bolt upright in bed. Sweat makes my skin damp, my hands shake. I close my eyes and take a second to gather myself.

"Nuni." Atem's hand is light on my bare shoulder.

"It was just a dream." I breathe a sigh as I push my hair back.

"Not a good one, apparently." He mutters. I brush his hand off and slide out of bed.

"What are you doing?" he asks me.

"Getting up." I tell him obviously.

"But it's late, you've only been asleep for a few hours." He follows me as push my door open and pad down the hall.

"You should sleep more." He tells me.

"You are not my mother." I tell him "I don't need you trying to tell me what I should and shouldn't do."

"Well maybe if your mother was useful she'd be up with you and telling you to go back to bed." Atem quipped bitterly. Didn't take him long to see how my mother is.

"I've wasted enough time trying to tell her what she should be doing." I scoff "don't waste your time, it doesn't change anything."

"We can change it together, if you like?" He offers

"Why do you care?" I demand snagging a blanket from the couch and silently slipping out the back door.

"because she is not behaving how a mother should behave." Atem growls. I just roll my eyes and spread my blanket out in the grass. I sit down and pat the seat beside me. Atem sits with me, I can feel his eyes on me.

"If you know so much about mothers," I start, breaking the silence "what was yours like."

A gentle, melancholy smile pulls his mouth.

"My mother was a great woman." He says, pride clear in his voice. His shoulders straighten a little. His chin juts out the slightest bit, it's almost as if she walked into the room and he was standing at attention out of respect for her.

"She was a great ruler and somehow she had time to be my mother." He chuckles a little "although she may have treated me as a baby for far longer than my father agreed with."

"Oh..." I laugh "so you're a mama's boy."

"Sounds right." He says, that smile never leaving his face. "my mother sang to me every night and had every meal with me. She was there for every birthday and ever celebration she'd leave early to tuck me into bed when I was young. When I became old enough to stay up for them she allowed me to space I needed to grow."

I watch him. My heart aches because I want that smile he has, on my face. I drop my eyes and turn the ring around my finger.

"She sounds amazing." I tell him honestly.

"She was." He turns his eyes on me finally. "She would have loved to meet you, Nuni."

I nod and lift my eyes to his "I would have loved to meet her too."

He watches me for a few moments before brushing the clump of bangs on my forhead out of my eyes.

"you should rest." He tells me.

"I should." I agree and turn my eyes back to the stars.

"but you're not going to." He sighs, defeated.

"I might miss something." I tell him only a half truth. I can give him that much.

"I see." He says angling closer to me. If he weren't already dead, I might've killed him right there... but maybe not. I let him drape his hand over mine as he leans toward me, offering me his shoulder for my head. I accept it. I don't know why but... I trust Atem. Maybe I really am going insane.

"What song is that?" Atem whispers.

"What song?" I yawn.

"Never mind." Atem's voice is really nice.

      Me, Nuni... trusting someone? A boy no less? It's absurd, absolutely and utterly... absurd.