If Atem Lived in my Head

Nuni VS Marik

The darkness is heavy, I had just gotten rid of it when I accepted Atem back. It had to have been Marik trying to push me away from him. I don't know why, I highly doubt he's trying to steal me from Atem, I think it has more to do with Atem than me. He wants to hurt him and I can't let that happen but with the way his energy alone feels, I already feel like giving up, but I don't want to. If my mom through all her drunken tangents has taught me anything it's that I can't give up just because I feel like it, just because it's hard. I don't want to give up. I want all of these new people in my life, the people who have taken me in and accepted me and become my friends. I want them to be safe.

"Your move, Nuni." Marik is a strange combination of calm and giddy. He is sure he is going to win. Confidence in a victory is usually a mistake but in this case, he might have the skill to back it up.

"I place this card face down and end my turn." I have to see what he can do before I can formulate my own strategy. Does he play traps? Rely on strength? Cunning? Not knowing your opponent is a mistake but what else could I do.

"Do you know what a shadow game is?" Marik asked.

That's what you were talking about isn't it, Atem? I remember him mentioning shadow games when we first came in here and he saw this game on pieces of cardboard.

It is Atem glares at Marik because there is nothing he can do.

I told you we needed a plan I grumbled frustrated because I knew something like this would happen. No matter how much Atem wanted me out of the picture in this, Marik wasn't going to let me be.

I know.

"you play like a child." Marik sneered. "I will place this in attack mode and this one face down and end my turn." His eyes are full of cold calculations.

He didn't attack I am surprised, people almost always attack when I play this way. He is either reflecting my own method of feeling out my opponent or he is playing it cautious... or he's sadistic and is mocking me while shadow murderers are hanging over my friends' heads.

"You play like a sadistic coward." I shoot back.

Perhaps it is best not to antagonize him Atem warns.

"you noticed, now go."

"I play Dark magician girl in attack mode and this card, face down."

Good play atem rests a hand on my shoulder. The dark magician girl is strong and that trap card will aid her.

I have a bad feeling about this, Atem.

I know, Nuni, I feel it too.

This isn't going to end well. I can feel it in my bones. Something really bad is going to happen during this battle.

I swear, Nuni, I will keep you safe at any cost Atem is solid behind me but I already know something he doesn't. no one can protect anyone else, when it comes down to it, if we can't protect ourselves we are subject to our doom.

"I reveal this," Marik smirks "it allows me to attack your life points directly." Marik "My Lava Golem is about to take out a nice chunk of your life and it is going to hurt."

My skin burned, pain radiated through me and the life point tracker on the side dropped my life points.

Nuni! Atem exclaimed. I doubled over, whacking my head on the table.

"What's... what's happening?" I force my eyes up to Marik's.

"This is no longer the watered down version of these ancient shadow games, you're going to play it with all the stakes on high and feeling every attack to your life points."

I forced myself back upright.

"Nuni..." Joey caught on second, Taya third and Tristan last.

"this is no ordinary duel, guys." Yugi finally voiced what he was feeling out loud.

"it feels heavy." Joey commented "and Nuni looks like she's in real pain."

"This is the way this is meant to be played." Marik boasts.

"I attack with my dark magician girl and take out your lava golem." I growl through my pain, it was ebbing away but I couldn't get hit again, not if it was going to feel like that.

"you''ve trigger my trap." Marik smirks.

I forgot about the face down card I scold myself.

"you've just taken out your own monster."

"Dark magician girl, no!" I exclaim as the mirror deflects the attack and my magiaican and destroyed. Again, pain radiates throughout my entire body and my life points drop.

I can't duel like this I growled at myself I'm too focused on how much it hurts. I'm too afraid of the pain.

Let me take over Atem pleaded

I have a feeling you can't I watch Marik, he can see and Hear Atem.

"She's right." Marik smiles like he thought of everything "this is a game between her and I and she is not the one meant to help you. Destroying her will bring you pain and that is all the motivation I need to take her out."

I don't know why what he said hurt so much. I knew I wasn't going to be the one to help Atem, my money is still on Yugi but hearing it confirmed, still hurt.

"

I don't know why what he said hurt so much. I knew I wasn't going to be the one to help Atem, my money is still on Yugi but hearing it confirmed, it still hurts.

Do not listen to him, nuni Atem sounds far away and the darkness that sits just beneath the surface starts to rise. All of my despair and sorrow. All of the thoughts that make me feel worthless. Atem pulled me from a similar darkness the day I didn't want to get out of bed. It happens every so often but never has it been thi intense. I don't want to continue this. I don't want to lose here when it matters most and disappoint everyone.

"I play Dark magician." My hands move automatically. Despite the intensity of the onslaught of emotions, I am still used to going through the motions and my hands know how to draw clothes. My subconscious knows what to do even if I feel like I am drowning in my own doubts.

Nuni! Atem yells but not close enough, he's leaving me too, he knows I can't win this battle.

Marik takes out my dark magician and I play my elf and when he takes that out I play my knight and when he takes that out and I am down my life points and everything hurts and my heart is heavy and everyone has left me in my pool of sorrow, I am sure I will lose and I know how much I needed to win this and when it really counted I could not be as good as everyone wanted me to be.

I could not win.

I couldn't do anything. 

Author's Note

Only one more chapter and the epilogue. What do you think is going to happen next????

Thanks for reading. see you tomorrow 

XOXO