If Atem Lived in my Head

Part 1-Not Today

      Some days are harder than others. That's simply the way life is. Some days are roller-coasters and fireworks and family barbecues. Some days are heavy and hard and impossible. Some days are like today.

I curl myself into the tightest ball I can manage when my alarm goes off. Atem gets the alarm. A second later I feel the lightest of hands on my shoulder.

"I know you're awake, Nuni." He whispers. "I'm surprised you've allowed yourself to stay in bed."

"Go away." I whisper to him. I close my eyes against the day and pull the blanket over my head.

"Nuni." I can hear the concern in his voice. "what's wrong."

"Not today." I tell him.

"Not today what?" he asks. he's never seen me like this. He's been here for six weeks, this only happens a few times a year.

"I don't want to do anything today." I tell him.

"You must get up if you are to have your tea." He says gently, pulling the blankets down.

"I don't want anything." I tug on the blankets again but he doesn't give them to me.

"You always want your tea, Nuni... tell me what's wrong."

I don't know what's wrong. I don't know what makes me like this. I just know when I do feel like this I don't want to move. I don't want to eat. I don't want to live.

"Nothing." I keep my eyes firmly closed. As if it will keep the day from coming. I can feel the sun climbing up into the sky.

"I've never seen you like this, Nuni, it's not like you." He sits beside me on the bed, his hand still on my shoulder.

"No duh." I snap harshly "I just don't want to do anything today, Atem, leave me alone."

"I will leave you alone if that is what you truly wish but I want to know what happened to make you like this this morning." He strokes my hair from my face "was it another bad dream?"

"No." I snap.

"No, because you haven't actually been asleep all night." His gentle voice gains an edge.

"I just don't want to do anything, Atem." I snap at him.

"Have you ever been like this before?" he demands of me.

"Yes." My voice is small. I'm just tired. Not like a nap, like from life. I don't...I can't do life today.

"What does your mother do when you're like this?" he asks.

"Why do you have to do that?" I growl through my teeth. "your mother was a good mother, mine doesn't even know I feel this... why can't you just let it go."

"I'm worried about you, Nuni." His voice loses the edge but it's still firm.

"Don't be." I snap "I'm fine I just..." I sigh.

"Just what?" He prods.

"I just don't want to do anything today. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to listen to you. I don't want to share memories with you, I don't want to do... anything." I rest my head back against the pillow and pull my knees tightly to my chest.

"I see..." Atem pulls the blankets back over me and takes a seat at my computer desk. "Then I will be right here when you are feeling more like yourself." He flips my sketchbook open to a blank page and picks up my pencil.

"You deserve a day off." He says, as the pencil scratches lightly against the paper. I give a relieved sigh and let my eyes close.

Thank you I think to him. Talking is just too much right now.

To be continued.

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This will be a 3 part section. 

go ahead and leave a comment and a vote if you're enjoying this. This is the first time I've written a story in this kind of style.