Dear Universe, ✔

4.

Field: Ian asked me for your number, is it okay to give it to him?

Yeah, that's fine. 

Field: K. I've warned him how bad you are at texting, so he's aware. 

I roll my eyes and toss my phone to the side as I once again try to dive into one of the books on the reading list. Instead, my mind wanders to Ian.

In the past week, I've hung out with him three times. All three times we've just sat in his room and watched Netflix - we're almost done with the show now, but we have a few more that we plan to watch after. We don't talk much, but occasionally we'll have a short conversation. I don't mind the quiet, I actually really enjoy it, but I would like to get to know Ian better. 

Maybe he wants to know me better too and that's why he asked Fieldan for my number. It's been really nice having someone to spend time with that isn't my parents of Fieldan, but I'm nervous that once he starts school on Monday, he's going to hear things about me and things will change. 

He'll start to question and pity me, and then I'll lose my friend. I'll lose the sanctuary of his room, and I'll lose the blank slate I had with him. 

 I hear my phone buzz from it's spot beside me. 

Unknown:  Hey, it's Ian. Fieldan said it was okay for her to give me your number. 

Yeah, it's totally fine. What's up?

Ian: So I heard there's a reading list for our English class...

Ugh. Yeah, it sucks. I'm currently reading the same sentence for the hundredth time in one of the books.

Ian: So I take it you're not big on reading? 

Not at all. 

Ian: Me either. But I guess we have to suffer to pass the class.

Guess so. 

Ian: So, is there any chance I can get that list from you?

Yeah, I can bring it over tomorrow. 

Ian: Is there any chance you could bring it today...and possibly give me a ride to the bookstore to pick up the books? I won't be home tomorrow. 

Is Ian actually asking me to hang out with him, like for real? I haven't been to the mall or anywhere really in months. I've been like a hermit, hiding out at home or Fieldan's house, only ever coming out to go to school or to those weekly dinners with my parents. I'd missed going out into the world. 

Ian: If you're busy or don't want to it's okay. I just thought it would be fun and you know the list.

Be there in 15. 

When I pull into the driveway almost twenty minutes later, I see Nate's truck in the driveway. Nate graduated last year and goes to the University a few towns over so he and Fieldan don't get to see each other very often. On weekends you usually find the two of them connected at the hip, which is why I decide to not go inside and say hello. I don't want to walk in on anything I can't un see. 

Nate and Drew are friends, they played baseball together for years, so I know Nate pretty well. The four of us used to double date all the time, and I really like Nate, he's perfect for Fieldan and he's crazy about her. Unlike Fieldan though, after River, Nate didn't know how to talk to me and things got weird - especially after I broke up with Drew. It was like Nate felt like he had to choose sides and he felt bad about picking Drew so being around me was too awkward.