Dear Universe, ✔

8.

My therapy session on Tuesday left me in a bad mood for the rest of the week. I finally told Dr. White about my parents, and she really dug into the topic - which really annoyed me. She thinks that all those diplomas on her walls mean that she knows everything, that by probing and asking you a million questions she can get to the root of everything.

She's wrong though, she doesn't know anything. River's death didn't bring up any deep seeded problems that my parents already had, they were happy before - we were all happy - so her logic is garbage. This isn't a way to deal with their grief, this is just the aftermath of what I caused.

By Saturday morning, my mood was even annoying me. I was tired of being irritable and down. It was hard to cheer up when your mom is ignoring you, though. 

Ever since I overheard my mom and dad talking about the affair, she hasn't said a word to me. In fact, I've barely seen her come out of her room. I don't even know if she's been going to work. At night though, when she thinks I'm asleep, I can hear her crying from River's room. 

I'm just about to take a shower when I hear my phone vibrate on my nightstand. 

Ian: Colby invited me to a party tonight. Want to come with me?

I haven't been to a party in months. I don't even remember the last party I went to. 

Old Annie used to go to a party every weekend. I'd get dressed up, do my hair and make up, take a ton of selfies with Fieldan, and then head to wherever the party was that night with my friends and boyfriend. I would dance and drink and have fun - not a care in the world other than getting home safely and making sure I didn't puke from the alcohol. 

A party sounded like exactly what I needed right now. There's was a plus side in going to the party Colby invited Ian to - there's no way any of my ex friends would be there. 

Sure. :)

Ian: Great. Pick you up at 9. :)

Fieldan came over to help me get ready before Nate arrived to take her on their date. 

"This is just like old times." She says as she gathers her make up and puts it back in her bag. 

"It is." I agree, taking a look at myself in my full length mirror. It was like looking at a stranger - or rather, someone you used to know well but haven't seen in awhile. My hair is straightened and flowing perfectly over my shoulders and down my back. Fieldan did my make up so that my lashes we long and my eyes popped, along with adding some color to my cheeks and lips. 

I even dug into the depth of my closet and pulled out a dress that Old Annie would have been dying to wear the first chance she got. I was hesitant at first, but I finally decided why not? Old Annie can make a come back for one night. 

At 8:30, Nate texted Fieldan to let her know that he was outside waiting. 

"Try to have some fun, Annie. You deserve it."

"I will. You have fun, too." I wave from my bed as she heads towards the door.

"Oh, I will." She winks and I roll my eyes, making a gagging sound as I do so. "Call if you need me." 

At 9 o'clock, I lock the front door behind me and walk towards Ian's dad's car. Lucky for me that he borrowed the car, because I hadn't even thought of the possibility of riding his motorcycle when I put on the dress. 

When I open the passenger side door and slide into the seat, I was greeted by Ian staring at me, his mouth hanging open slightly. I watch in amusement as he tries to regain his composure, "Hey, Ian."