Obsessive. (Harry Styles fanfiction)

Chapter 35

Harry's POV

I didn't leave Olivia. I was sitting on the floor beside the room where I locked her. I heard her shouts and her begs to let her out. My heart really wanted to let her out but my mind was telling me not to and I hated myself for that.

My heart ached when I didn't hear her shouts anymore. I was really worried that she passed out or she repeatedly hit her head against the wall so I immediately opened the door.

I sighed when I saw her lying the floor. I carried her bridal style and into my room. I just thought that if I put her into her room, she's going to avoid me as best as she can and for the rest of her entire life.

I don't know if she tried to escape from me because I admitted what I really feel for her or because of other reasons. It's the truth though, I really like her and I can't afford to lose her.

I placed her gently on my bed and covered her body with my duvet. I placed the hair that was covering her face behind her ear. She looks even more beautiful when she sleeps.

I don't know what to do tomorrow. I don't know if she'll be able to forgive me for what I've done tonight. I know that it was her biggest fear but I just had to do it.

I've decided to cook breakfast for her in the morning. I slept on the couch in my room while she slept on my bed. I waited for her to wake up. I was leaning my side against the doorframe while watching her sleep and thinking what would I say the first time she opens her eyes.

When I saw that she keeps on turning, I knew she's about to wake up so I grabbed the tray full fruits, bread, and cereal, eggs, and bacon on the table.

She frantically stood up when she noticed my presence and widened her eyes. I started losing my shit when she walked towards me. I may or may have forgotten the words that I keep rehearsing early in the morning.

"G-Good morning. I-" I was about to tell her that I made breakfast for her but she ignored me and walked past by me.

"I'm not hungry" She said and walked out of the room. Then, I heard the door closing next to my room. I didn't stop her from walking out because she might hate me even more.

I turned on the television and watched what she's doing. She was just lying on her bed while crying. Fück. She's crying because of me right? It's all my fault. If I just didn't let my jealousy and anger show at the party, we wouldn't have an argument. If I just didn't admit my feelings her, she wouldn't escape from me. That's the reason why she escaped, right? Because she doesn't feel the same way as I do and she doesn't like me. She hates me.

I don't know how in the world should I approach her. She hates me. If I just make one wrong move, she might never forgive me.

I was in my room the whole day. I didn't eat in the afternoon but it was fine. I wasn't hungry. I just needed her to talk to me. I hated it when she ignores me because I'm not used to it. I'm used to how she bothers me and how she annoys me.

I want to make this work between us but I have no courage to do so. I couldn't take it anymore so I went downstairs and grabbed some drinks in the kitchen. I went to the living room to drink and think.

I was like this when Anna broke up with me. I felt empty and alone but I don't know if Olivia made me feel worse. We're not even together but she made me feel like I've lost someone very dearly to me and who's never mine.

After an hour or so, I've already finished 7 can of beers. Why is this not making me drunk? Why is this not making me numb? It's supposed to make me numb, right? But I feel like I'm feeling every emotion. I'm happy because Olivia was staying away from me. If we get even closer, I might hurt her and I don't want that to happen. I'm sad because Olivia was crying because of me. I'm hurt because she doesn't feel the same as I do. I'm angry because I couldn't control my own damn feelings. I'm worried because she might never forgive me. I'm afraid because if she feels the same way, I'll never be able to let her go. I'll be obsessive.

After an hour or so, I heard footsteps down the stairs so I looked up, only to see Olivia looking at me. I don't even know if her face says "I'm worried" or if her face says "I hate you" but then she quickly turned around and ran back upstairs.

I slide my hands down my face and groaned. What am I going to do now? She's been trying to ignore me the whole day. The tables have turned because I've been trying to avoid her weeks ago.

I took a deep breath and brushed my hair up with my fingers. I let my feet take me wherever it wants to go to, let my heart decide who it wants to beat for, and my mind to know who I want and need. All I long for is Olivia.