I'm Sick, I'm Tired Of Staying In Control - RW

Prologue

Prologue

June 1996

The atmosphere is calm and the sun shining over all who are out enjoying the day in Leeds. This morning Catherine Johnstone – known as Cath or Cathy to her friends – finished her last exam and was greeted by her boyfriend at the school gates who had a carrier bag of food for them to share. They had a tasty picnic and they're now lying back on the grass enjoying the rarity of English sunshine. There is not a cloud in the sky.

Her last exam was history which everyone thought she was going to study at university but then she changed her mind last minute and she applied for art courses instead. Her parents were not impressed but then again they have never understood her love of art or appreciated how talented she is. Even when some of her work has appeared in local galleries and exhibitions her parents have shown little or no interest. 'It is not because of that boy is it?' She remembers her dad saying. That boy being her now boyfriend. They are...well were in the same art class at school.

He is not the reason why she chose art, definitely not, he just persuaded her that she should be following her dreams. So, she is. She is jumping in with both feet hoping for the best. 'I probably won't even get in you know.' She murmurs, knowing that it has been praying on his mind. 'I don't think today's exam went very well.'

Taking a final drag of his cigarette, Ricky then stumps the thing out in his empty sandwich packet and dumps it there. He sits up slightly with his arms holding his body up behind him so he can look at his girlfriend's gorgeous face. 'Of course, you will. You're practically a genius.' Ricky is also planning on studying art but at Leeds Met where Cathy also applied. He couldn't help but feel his heart sink when her offer from Oxford came in.

He wasn't surprised however. Her portfolio was incredible, she is highly intellectual and her communication skills are second to none. She obviously aced her interview. 'Do you think we will be okay?' She asks him as her hazel eyes meet his blue ones.

'I hope so.' He then leans down to kiss her gently.

June 2017

Life isn't a fairy-tale. You realise that pretty quickly when things stop going your way. That has readily become the tag line of Cathy's life. Bad things also come in threes. That's the other one. She was expecting this letter, her pal Maria gave her warning, but it has hit her so hard. A simple invitation to her husband's birthday party from his home city of Bristol. Deceased husband. Why can't they all just let go?

You are invited to:

David Gurney's 40th Birthday Do

(In memory of the man himself)

Where:

The Milk Thistle, Bristol

Time:

8:00pm until late

Note:

Cath my darling... it is what he would have wanted. A good party! You are welcome to stay the night :) you are always welcome my dear. Mum x

There is so many things about this invitation which put her on edge. Firstly, it is the "mum". She isn't her mum; her mum is dead (things come in threes remember) but instead is her dead husband's mum. Also, there is the venue. She has been there so many times before with David which means there are so many memories.

But she can't not go. She would then be accused of "moving on" which she could never do because how can a widow just move on. In books and films they die alone and also a lot of the time turn into controlling women or witches. Cathy sighs. She knows that is all fiction.

She pulls a bit of skin from her chapped lips, her body ridden with anxiety but there is nothing she can do about it. She has made that decision.

Bad things come in threes? Mother...dead. Husband...dead. Anxiety? Must make three. Or does it?