I'm Sick, I'm Tired Of Staying In Control - RW

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

July 1996

Another beautiful day means Cathy is taking advantage of it and is outside at her garden table. Her crayons are spread across it and her notepad open as she sketches the sight in front of her. The sound of The Smiths fills her ears from her precious Sony Walkman in a disgusting yellow. The cassette is one of Ricky's – she always borrows his music – he is the music lover after all. And her lover. She grins at the thought.

It won't be long though before her fate is sealed...will she go to Oxford or will she stay in Leeds? A part of her doesn't mind if she doesn't meet the grades because then she will be with him. Forever. Her father says she is too young to think like that and maybe he is right.

A gust of wind blows and quickly her arms are down on the table stopping her pencils rolling off but letting her dark hair hit her face in the process. Frustrated she removes a hair band from her wrist and moves her hair to tie it up pulling an earphone out accidently in the process. She goes to curse but then hears from the kitchen Ricky chatting to her mum so she turns. He smiles cheekily and waves from the window. After waving back she continues with her drawing.

Eventually, he sits next to her whilst putting two glasses of orange squash on the table. 'It's hot.' He says, 'And you always forget to drink.'

'Thank you.' She murmurs and then takes a few refreshing gulps. 'How was band practice?'

'It was alright.' He shrugs, 'I tell you what Nick's passion for it all is rubbing off on me. I would love for it to go somewhere but we are pretty shit.'

Cathy laughs. She went to Runston Parva's first gig and it was an interesting experience to say the least. They had the passion – well some of them did – but the talent? Not so much. She had sat at the back of the pub drawing the five men on stage; Ricky, Nick, Whitey, Mike and James. She doesn't mix with them much, letting Rick get on with that side of his life more or less alone, but she will always support him. In everything. 'You haven't been at it long. With practice you guys will get better.'

'Hopefully.' He hums and then looks down at her pad, 'Are you drawing the fence?'

'I am experimenting with different textures.' She defends with a scoff. 'When was the last time you drew anything?'

His band life has definitely taken over since they left school. She likes to gently remind him occasionally that he is going to do an art degree. 'I drew a penis on a toilet stall yesterday.' She hits him gently on the bicep. 'The other day. Can't remember what it was though...maybe a rabbit.'

She hums and continues with her drawing. Rick puts one of her earphones in his ears and gets lost in the music whilst his gorgeous partner gets lost in her passion. Her face is so peaceful when she is sketching. He just sits there, appreciating how gorgeous she looks in her pastel green sundress with her hair tied up messily in a bun but that just means that none of her pretty face is hidden.

Almost subconsciously he places a hand on her thigh along the hem where her dress finishes and her bare skin begins. Her eyes flicker to look at him and his cute face being framed by his long hair. She finds herself biting her lip so she looks away and back at her work but now her pale skin has more colour in her cheeks. Rick chuckles and kisses the rosiness quickly before getting distracted by the cloud patterns in the sky.

He couldn't believe it when she said yes to a cinema date last winter. She was allowed to pick the movie so he sat through Sense and Sensibility for over two hours and when they came out it was pouring with rain. He used his jacket as umbrella for them both as they ran to the bus shelter and shared their first kiss. Kissing on the first date...too soon? For most maybe but they had been flirting for months and months at this point so it felt like a long time coming. It was perfect.

They sat at the back of the bus holding hands and Cathy's head leaning on Rick's shoulder. An elderly woman cooed at them when she got on the bus. He then walked her home where they kissed again and he promised to call. Which he did. As soon as he got home.

Smitten. That's the best word to describe it.

The sound of Cathy's mum shouting that she is going out to the supermarket brings a mischievous smirk onto Rick's lips. He starts to move his hand higher up his girlfriend's thigh bringing her dress with it. 'I'm drawing.' She teases but he knows that she doesn't mean it.

They do end up in her bed having sex. He tells her that he loves her before kissing her deeply but a part of her breaks inside. This is all too perfect. Having this summer together of love, cuteness and sex but come September...what will happen then?

There is so much uncertainty right now but neither of them want to ask the important questions. Her best friend, Maria, says it won't work. Says that she has seen it all before with her older siblings and their partners. One of them will be unfaithful and that's it. Rick's mates have been saying the same but now they don't even broach the subject after one of them ended up being shoved to the ground aggressively. Cathy means everything to him. He isn't going to be unfaithful and he knows that she wouldn't either. He will go and visit her when he can and she will be back in the holidays. It will be fine. He will show them.

After a fag, he decides to leave her to her drawing and go down the shop for some bits and pieces he needs: cigarettes, condoms, Haribo...that sort of thing. 'Hello mate.' He hears behind him where Whitey is stood holding a bangers and mash ready meal.

'Hey White.' He says, 'Dinner?'

'Yeah.' He huffs, 'Can't be fucked to cook. What are you having?'

'Not sure. Whatever my mum is cooking I guess.' Whitey is a couple of years older than Rick and sometimes – like in this instance – it shows. His mam certainly won't be cooking his tea tonight. 'So err Nick is serious about this band thing. Are you?'

'Yeah but nothing will come of it.' He shrugs, 'We are shite.'

Ricky thinks about what Cathy said earlier and smiles. 'We haven't been at it for long. More practice and we could become alright.' You never know.

'Yeah maybe.'

They both chat at the checkout as they pay for their items – Whitey ending up adding a pack of cigarettes to his dinner – before parting ways outside the shop. They haven't known each other that long. Not really. It was their drummer, Nick, who brought everyone together with this band idea. But Andrew White seems like a cool, genuine chap so Ricky isn't complaining. Might be a friend for a life.

The next day Rick and Cathy go shopping for some stuff for university but end up spending most of it in a café working through drink after drink whilst cuddling on the sofa. When she returns home her father is less than impressed that she has only managed to buy a couple of glasses and a new duvet cover but her mother was sympathetic. She can see that this is going to be very hard for her daughter moving away from the boy she loves more than anything.

That night she meets him in the pub where he is drinking with his band but still his attention is on her. He doesn't not include her and in fact she feels very at home talking to his friends. They end up going back to his in a drunken state, having sex and falling asleep in his bed. Thankfully his parents are a lot more understanding than hers. So, when Mrs Wilson walks in on them in the morning all she does is laugh and offer them both breakfast. 'Your poor mum.' Cathy laughs as she walks back to her house in last night's clothes.

'She's seen it all before.' He replies earning a raise of her eyebrow. 'I mean from James. My brother.'

'Oh right.' She then slows when her house comes into sight until she stops altogether. She takes both his hands in hers and looks at how they are linked like a jigsaw falling into place. 'I know people think that it won't work but I think we can do this.'

'I do too.' He agrees with a lopsided smile. 'We will just have to always make the most of the time we have together.' He leans down to kiss her softly and Cathy feels like she is in a love story...she just hopes that it is a happy ending.