I'm Sick, I'm Tired Of Staying In Control - RW

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

August 1996

Today is the day. Results Day.

Neither Cathy or Rick slept well last night, both frantically worrying about the future...about what's next. In total between them they only had seven hours kip so now they are struggling to get themselves going. Both not being able to eat their breakfast because of feeling so green.

He leaves his house just before eight to walk to her house. His mum gives him a big squeeze before he goes wishing him luck whilst in Cathy's house her mum does the same but each mother gets a different reaction. He says it will be fine before leaving whereas she doesn't say anything. Just walks out anxiously once her boyfriend arrives on her doorstep. Together they will walk into their now old school ready to collect a sheet of paper...their fate sealed. They don't talk much at all on the way, just hold hands and make the odd comment but never about what is about to happen. Little things like "that cloud looks like a bottle of beer" or "my neighbour's cat is plotting to kill me" both of them were said by Rick. She just hums in response every so often so he has given up and instead settles for silence.

The school is bustling with people by the time they get there just after half-past. Their peers have already started to share the news of their grades, some pleased that they can go to their first choice university and others just relieved to have made it to the end but have decided they are destined to working in a shop.

Hundreds of people. So many different futures.

They have to separate in the school hall because of their results being on different tables by first letter of surname. J for Cathy and W for Rick. Her eyes are looking forward, determined to pick up her envelope to find out what kind of a future she is going to have whereas he looks back briefly to check to see if she is alright. They deal with things like this in different ways. He knows that.

Her history teacher passes over her results with a smile and his old PE teacher passes over his results with a look of indifference. He never liked him much. He takes his eagerly and looks back round for his girlfriend who is now looking lost in a corner. He strides up to her and comfortingly strokes her arm hoping to ease her a little but it doesn't look to be working.

He's ready to tear open the envelope but her expression stops him from doing so. She looks so sick. Like whatever grades she receives will be the end of the world. Her mind is racing because what if she doesn't get the grades and she doesn't go to Oxford? Her parents will be so disappointed. 'Cathy.' She hears and looks up from the white envelope at her boyfriend who smiles calmly. 'Come with me.'

Ricky takes her hand gently and leads her out of the school hall and through the crowds of people all sharing their results. There are tears of both joy and sadness around them but they're both trying to block that out. He is focussing on her but she is focussing on what could be typed on the sheet of paper inside the envelope.

He takes her out the back door and towards the benches near the football pitch where they've hung out after school on numerous occasions especially back when they kept their relationship a secret. All the kisses, cuddles and simply laughing around on this bench but after today they will never sit on it again. It is almost heart-breaking but it just means one thing...they're moving on. 'I'm scared.' She admits and he is unsure whether she is now talking about the results or what the outcome of the results would mean for them but he doesn't question it. Now is not the time.

'I know.' He slings his arm around her shoulders comfortingly. 'What do you want in the future?'

'To be good at what I do. To be known for art I guess.' She dreams, 'I want a beautiful house with my own art studio with a garage that has a blue Mini with a personalised number plate. CLJ 1978.'