The Professor's Daughter [Part 2 of 2]

14 | Falling Apart

Leah's POV

The sound of Jennifer's precious, sexy moans fill both my ears as I work very hard to please her on our couch. She keeps shifting her body underneath my tongue and her breathing is unsteady as hell.

"Fuck yes, Leah." She hisses, grabbing some of my hair and arching her back as she orgasms for the second time. I smile, pleased with my work, and I look up at her. "Was that good for you?" I ask her, grinning like a fool. Jennifer touches her forehead, then looks at her fingertips that are glistening with sweat. "I'm sweating, so yes." She teases. I smile and sit up, throwing my hair into bun.

"Can we talk?" I ask, suddenly feeling my mood shift over from happy to sad and worried. "About what?" Jennifer giggles, not taking me seriously. She looks at me and realizes it wasn't a joke, so she wipes her smile off and gets dressed again. "Of course we can talk, baby. What is it?" "I hate that I keep doing this to us and that I can't just let things go... but the other night..." I mutter, folding my arms over my chest and facing away from her. The vivid flashes of what happened are what get to me.

"Okay... what about it?" Jennifer asks, sighing and sitting up straight on the couch. "Before any of that happened... the conversation we had about why you didn't want to have sex with me... am I enough for you, Jennifer? I'm still so young and nothing is going to change our age difference. I know you've been with girls who are older than you and- I can never be what they are, or were. I am just... me." I say to her. "Leah, you think I don't know that? The other women I have been with were nothing like you. That, to me, is a good thing. It never worked out for me with the older women... maybe you're what I needed." She says. Maybe? What does that mean?

"I am absolutely terrified that you are going to change your mind one day and leave me. You are going to find someone closer to your age with more experience and who can make you happier and-" Jennifer stops me. "You think too much." I stay quiet and just look at her. "Leah, look at me and tell me this isn't about the sex." She says. I glance away and sigh quietly. Partially...

"Sure, sex plays a role in it, but I am talking about other levels of intimacy too!" I blurt out. She pushes her fingers through her hair, just like she always does when she is frustrated. "Okay... so since our sex life seems to be the root of this, let's get uncomfortable for a minute. What do you not like about our sex life, Leah?! Our sex life has always been good and hot and amazing!!!" "Jennifer-" "SAY IT!" "I loved our sex life before! I loved it when you didn't know who really was and that you were messing with someone so much younger. Ever since you found out, you've babied me. I don't get why... I am still the same fucking person, Jen! Our sex life changed! I hate it!" I confess.

"You hate our sex life... are you kidding me? Leah, you just spent the past half hour feeling me up, sucking my tits, and putting your face between my thighs. And you hate our sex life?" "You know I did not mean it that way, Jennifer. I love you. I love your body and every single fucking time I touch you I feel like the luckiest girl alive... its the other part that makes me feel like shit. You're either babying me, not having sex with me for reasons I can't figure out, or fucking me out of spite." I say, throwing my hands up. She takes a breath and stands up, pacing for a moment.

"Leah. I am sorry I babied you. It wasn't intentional. I'll do better, I promise. As for the not having sex with you part... I am sorry, okay? I am sorry we didn't have any sexual contact from the time I went to jail until the other night when shit went bad. Okay? I am sorry I had difficulty swallowing the pill that I am in a committed relationship and sleeping with a girl who I was not even legally allowed to be with. I got ARRESTED because I fucked you, Leah. Would you not be a little freaked out too?! I mean, fuck!! I think I reserve the right to be a little psyched out from that whole ordeal! You don't get that because you weren't there. You had your own shit out here to deal with, yes! But that doesn't make what I was dealing with any easier!" She says, getting a bit loud towards the end.

I like when I see Jennifer's true emotions come out when she talks to me. It lets me know that she does care and that she is feeling this, even though she doesn't show it the way I do.

I stay quiet for a moment and lick my lips. "When are things going to get better?" I ask her, doing my best to hold myself together. "Whenever we start making them better, Leah. It's going to take some time and a lot of forgiveness and compromise. A relationship isn't an easy thing, especially one that has as many complications as ours. The bottom line here is this: I love you and I want to be with you... you love me and want to be with me, so there is absolutely no reason we can't figure something out together." Jennifer says. "I can't have sex with you." I say. She sighs and even growls a bit, throwing her hands in the air. "Goddammit!!! Stop thinking about the sex!!! Our relationship is more than sex to me and I thought you knew that!" Jennifer snaps. I press my lips together and she goes into the kitchen, leaving me there. I don't follow her, I know she wants her space.

When she comes back she's got a large glass of wine and she kneels in front of me, laying her arms across my closed knees. "I am not expecting or asking you to jump into bed with me, Leah. If you're not comfortable with something then that's fine. I can wait. I will wait. I'll do just about anything for you.... you know this. One thing I do want to ask you is what can I do to make things better? To make things easier for you to trust me again?" She asks me. "Just... love me." I say quietly. She nods her head and reaches for my face, stroking my cheek and down my jaw. "Okay then. I can manage that." She says, smiling softly at me. I nod my head and swallow hard and she shakes her head, "I am not letting us fall apart, Leah." She whispers. I smile a tiny bit and carefully take her glass from her and drink some.

"I don't want us to fall apart. I just want us to be okay." She nods her head and stands up, now sitting on the couch beside me. She lays her legs over my thighs and just looks at me in silence. "I am more in love with you than I have ever been before." She says, the straightest face ever. I feel my heart do that stupid thing where it speeds up and I get chills on my body. I put my hand on her skin and bite my lip, "I'd say the feeling is mutual." I tell her as I go closer and kiss her.

Our relationship is by far one of the most complicated things I've ever dealt with. Sometimes, I just want to slap her perfect fucking face and run away from it all, but in the same beat... I'm madly in love with her and all I want to do is fix things.