Secret Love

Do You Still Love Me?

It was Jinyoung-hyung's 50th birthday and he had been invited. JYP himself had called him. Even though he was the one that had broken his contract with the man's company, they had parted ways on good terms. He knew there was a chance of coming across Mark and Jaebum, but over the years, he had gotten better and better at keeping their relationship a secret. Once or twice over the past seven years, he and Mark had met at random places. Every time they had met, everything else didn't matter. Not his career, not Jaebum, not Mark's marriage. They loved secretly, and each time, Jackson left Mark with a little piece of himself and took a little piece of the elder with him.

Tonight was different. Tonight, he was leaving Mark for the last time. He had told himself no matter how much he loved Mark, it would never be enough and going behind Jaebum's back was only making it more and more difficult to face his best friend. Add in the fact that he was no longer able to stand on the sidelines and watch his best friend whisk away the love of his life, he was at the end of his patience, so he pulled Mark aside.

"We can't do this anymore, Mark. When I leave here, don't look for me."

"What?" the elder asked in confusion. "Jackson, what are you talking about? No, we agreed to see each other later tonight. Jaebum is staying here in the hotel, but I told him I was going back home. I have a shoot tomorrow. Tonight is the only time I have to see you."

"Mark, I'm not staying either."

"So we can't see each other?"

"No, Mark. This will be the last time you will see or hear from me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying we're stopping here- now."

"Jackson-..."

"Don't make this harder than it already is."

"Why?"

"Because what we're doing is wrong."

"Jackson, do you even still love me?" Mark had asked, his eyes determined but beginning to well with tears crowding at his waterline.

The question had come as somewhat of a surprise. He had opened his mouth to answer the elder, but nothing had come out. It was on the tip of his tongue to say, "Of course, I love you," but before he could even make another attempt to say it, Jaebum had come to collect his husband.

Instead, he had forced a smile and greeted his friend of fifteen years, guilt wracking him again. After a few minutes of idle chit-chat, he placed Mark's hand in Jaebum's just like seven years ago when they got married. His heart breaking all over again. He stood there and watched as Jaebum wrapped his arms around Mark's waist and sweep him onto the dance floor. He stood and watched as Jaebum placed soft, loving kisses on Mark's shoulders before he made his way up to Mark's soft, bow-shaped lips, jealousy twisting in his stomach.

Just like seven years ago, Mark had looked at him from over Jaebum's shoulder with a face filled with longing and pain, eyes filled with unshed tears. Just like seven years ago, he turned away and left.

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MARK'S POV :

Mark watched as Jackson turned and begin to walk towards the exit, and something in him snapped. He pried himself out of Jaebum's hold. The tears he had been holding back since he watched the younger walk into the room finally spilling from his eyes. Reaching for Jaebum's hand, he led his husband a few feet away from where Jinyoung stood.

"I know, Jaebum," he said, looking at his husband of seven years. "I guess I've always known and just refused to see 'cause I loved you and I loved the strength you gave me to be true to myself."

"How?... How did you know?"

"I overheard you both on the day of the wedding. At first I was surprised that Jinyoung was at the hotel to begin with, and I thought he had changed his mind about not being able to attend it, but then I realized that you were arguing and then he didn't even show up for the ceremony and his gift went missing. I thought I was making the right choice, but then I realized as the years crept by that no matter how much I tried, you're not the same with me as you are with him. You love him. You love him as much as I love Jackson. I want to be happy. I want you to be happy. We both owe it to each other to be happy. Let's stop here. Let's stop making them unhappy."

Jaebum gaped at him. "Ja-Jackson?? Jinyoung?"

"At first I thought I was seeing things, but then I noticed that every time he was in the same room you were in, you always wanted to leave immediately, and Jinyoung never wanted to be in the same room I was in. It all started to make sense. Jaebum, I know you don't want to be in the dark again, but he loves you. Don't make the same mistake I made. Give him time. Give him what he needs and one day, he'll blossom under your sun, just like I did."

Jaebum opened his mouth. "Mark, baby. I can explain."

"That's the point, Jaebum. There's nothing to explain. I don't care. If you cheated on me or not, I don't care. I want out, and I want out now! I can't do this anymore. This marriage was a sham from the very beginning, and you know it. We never should've gotten married. Go to him, Jaebum. Go make him happy."

Without another word, he pulled the rings off his finger and pressed them into the palm of Jaebum's hand. He leaned in and pressed one last kiss on Jaebum's cheek before he turn and ran out. He stepped out of the ballroom and into the lobby as he pulled out his phone. He quickly pulled Jackson's number up and put the phone to his ear as he rushed out of the building. Panic began to rise in him as he looked around for the mass of blonde hair in the crowd on the street, then he heard it- the chorus of Face- playing from behind him, and he turned. No matter how long he and Gaga were separated, he knew that it was their song. Years ago, they had stayed up one night in Jackson's apartment to work on it. Bambam had proposed the idea that the three of them work together, but they had thought of each other as they wrote their separate lyrics.

As soon as their eyes latched on to one another, he ran to Jackson, throw his arms around the younger. The surprise on Jackson's face was priceless. The hug only lasted a minute before Jackson began to push him away.

"Mark, what are you doing? Jaebum..."

"I don't care. I can't do it anymore, Gaga. I left him."

"What? No, Mark. You can't do that."

"Yes, I can and I am."

"No, go back in there, Yien. I'm not doing that to Jaebum."

"No, Jackson. You don't understand. He's in love with Jinyoung."

"What?"

"He's in love with Jinyoung. I guess, he always was and just like me, he was confused, so I let him go, Gaga. I let him go to Jinyoung. It was the only way. I can't stand watching you leave anymore, so I'm not going to. I don't care anymore. I don't care if I hurt Jaebum. I just don't want to hurt you anymore. You're all I want and I don't care about anything else."

"Ouch, angel," Jaebum said from behind them, a hand over his heart with a faked pained expression on his face despite the blatant smile on his face, Jinyoung following closely behind him.

He stumbled a little when Jackson tried to push him away with a look of sheer panic and confusion, but he held fast to Jackson's side. He stood ready to stand in his husband's way if Jaebum so decided to throw punches, but he looked down and was slightly surprised and pleased by what he saw. Jaebum and Jinyoung had their hands intertwined, and his heart soared.

Jaebum stopped in front of him and smiled softly at him. "I'm sorry, Mark for dragging you into my mess. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to keep you happy. I hope you can forgive me. I'll give you whatever you want as compensation for the past seven years."

He shook his head, still reeling from the turn of events. "Don't worry about it, Bummie. Just let me go," he told the younger, not bothering to hide the desperation in his voice. He turned to Jackson. "Let me go, so I can blooming in Jackson's sun like I was meant to."