There are Many Flowers in Seoul

Chapter Five

Rose was awake when dawn broke, staring through the open window as the warm orange glow spilled over the rooftops of Tokyo and crept through the alleys between the snaking roads and towering buildings. Too riled up to sleep, she'd spent the night perched on the edge of her bed, hugging her knees and listening to the sounds of night birds calling to one another, and of distant cars rumbling through the neighbourhood.

Full of dread, she removed herself from the room to shower and dress before she headed down to the kitchen to await the punishment she'd surely receive for her actions and outburst.

It had never been Rose's intention to hurt her parents; she loved them, after all. Now, she realised she ought to have expressed her reservations and concerns about their behaviour as and when each incident occurred, rather than bottling things up and letting them explode all at once. It was much too late for them to take back the things they'd given to the school, or to worry about how people might have perceived her when she'd already graduated. There was little chance she'd see her classmates ever again – they would forever move in different circles in society – and, to them, Rose would be remembered only as the rich girl they'd once shared a class with.

Takashi was first to come downstairs. He hesitated in the door when he set eyes on his daughter, and Rose stood sharply from the bench at the breakfast counter.

'Dad,' she said, her voice laced with regret, 'I didn't mean –'

'It's okay, Rose,' he told her, while his voice betrayed the lingering wounds from her verbal lashing.

'I'm so sorry.'

The apology hung in the air, surrounded by a breath of silence which filled the sleek modern space. Rose seemed out of place there, Takashi noted as he regarded his daughter. Their home was about minimalism, cleanliness and straight lines. It was a man-made haven of order and clarity, while his daughter was a natural jumble of confused emotions and raw feelings, like a wildflower trapped inside a glass case at a museum, bold and unforgivably honest in of itself, but still trapped by the prison made for her.

He had trapped his daughter.

Not in glass, but in an invisible barrier he'd built around her life with the fame which kept her from connecting with the rest of the world. While she tried to be her own person – to be bold and honest with herself – she still stayed small and powerless inside of those barriers, being the good little flower that her family expected her to be, little knowing that if she wanted, she could shatter those walls to grow into someone strong and true.

To Takashi – in that moment – it was as if he was starting to see his daughter for the first time.

'I should apologise.' Takashi gestured for her to sit back down and joined her at the counter. He placed a hand over hers and confessed, 'I was so caught up in showing people just how much I loved you – how well I could provide for you and your mother – that I got carried away. I should've talked to you more before I did this sort of thing.'

'I know that you love me,' Rose said. 'I didn't need stuff.'

'I can see that now.'

'But if you have an invisibility potion or something that I can use to make people forget who I am, I'll take that.'

Takashi chuckled. 'Sorry, all out of those.'

'Dad... I want to study abroad.'

'Study what?' he asked.

'I – I don't really know, yet...'

Takashi gave a subtle nod of comprehension. 'You mean you want to live abroad. Out of Japan.'

'A few years of anonymity would be nice,' Rose confessed. 'Besides, if I went to university here I still wouldn't know what I wanted to study.'

'I don't know if running away is the answer to this issue, Petal.'

Rose looked down at the counter. Whenever her father used her childhood nickname, she felt like she was a precocious five-year old again, dreaming impossible dreams and reaching for the moon. The idea of living abroad had come to her because she wanted to run from her problems, that much was true, but it might also be the start of some crazy new adventure for her.

'I don't know what I want to do with my life,' Rose said. 'I just... don't. I don't see anything in my future except living here and money.'

'Is that so bad?'

'I want my own identity,' she said. 'I want to find it somewhere, and I don't think it's here in Japan. I feel like – if it was – I'd have found it already.'

'I do understand, but you're only nineteen,' Takashi said. 'And you've never been abroad. Besides, you're worrying a little too early. Your mother didn't know what she really wanted to do with her life until she was thirty.'

'Twenty-seven,' Lily said as she walked through the door.

'Close enough,' Takashi replied.

'Not even slightly close.' Lily leaned in to kiss her husband's cheek and gave her daughter's shoulder a squeeze. 'Get a jacket. We're going out.'

'Don't you have work?' Rose asked.

'I've got time for this. Go on.'

Rose hopped down from the stool, kissed her father's other cheek, and hurried out of the kitchen to get herself ready for whatever her mother had planned. She cast one glance back over her shoulder but found no clues in their faces – not a hint of mischief or conspiracy – and so continued to the hall to pick up her coat.

Only when she was out of earshot did Takashi say to Lily, 'She said it herself.'

'I thought she might.'

'How did you know?'

'I found the brochures in her room,' Lily said.

'Sneaking around?'

'Cleaning.'

Takashi laughed softly. 'If you say so.'

'Don't worry about her, Takashi. She'll be just fine, and there'll be no opportunity for her to get into trouble.'

'But, I do worry.'

'It's ninety days,' Lily reasoned. 'What could possibly go wrong?'

'With your genes? Everything.'