There are Many Flowers in Seoul

Chapter Fifty-One

Rose felt naked without a phone. She'd found hers in Tae-won's kitchen in a drawer. Naturally, it was beyond repair. Holding down the power button had been a vain attempt to bring it back to life and Rose wished she'd thought to buy a new one before she headed to the apartment so that she could easily contact Hitomi and Yuta. Deok-su had written his number on the back of the note with the key code and Tae-won still had a landline so she supposed she could call him to take over if she really wanted to, but she doubted he'd be able to do much of anything to help. If anything, he'd just be in the way. Deok-su didn't appear to be competent in anything and she had to wonder at how he became a manager in the first place.

Although she'd told Tae-won she wanted him to rest and that she'd leave him to sleep, Rose found herself fretting and looking for distractions. The apartment was already spotless and, after she dried and folded the laundry, there was nothing else to do. Rose pilfered kimchi from the refrigerator, made herself coffee, and tried to settle in to watch television. All the while, she listened to Tae-won cough and wheeze from the bedroom, and the knot of guilt in her stomach tightened so much that she thought it might never come loose again. Unable to stand it any longer, Rose walked quietly through the corridor and sat beside the door, her ear against the wood and her feet pressed against the skirting board. The urge to enter the room and curl up beside him in the bed was overwhelming. The belief that her presence alone could heal Tae-won was an egotistical one, and Rose knew the best thing for both of them was for her to leave; she had to cut herself off from him for her sake, and he'd be happier without false hope to cling onto.

'Why do you keep running away from me?'

Why did it bother him that she'd walked away? And why did he think it was three times? Rose didn't think it was fair for him to say she'd run away from him when she was a child. When the drama shoot had ended she'd been taken home with her parents and wasn't old enough to tell them that she wanted to stay with a boy she'd known less than two weeks. Therefore, Rose could only deduce that Tae-won was talking about all the times she'd run away from him since they'd become reacquainted, except there were more than three; the plane, the chase around the office which led to the rooftop, their date, the closet cupcake theft, and when she'd fled his apartment.

Clearly, the fever was driving Tae-won insane. He was already fairly unbalanced in Rose's opinion and the illness was just making it worse. It was hardly worth thinking about anything he'd said too deeply, or the way he'd reached out and clung to her arm, fearful that she might leave him alone while he was frightened and in pain. By morning, he'd think everything that had happened had been a dream, and things would return to the terrible normality in which she hated him, and he thought of her as nothing more than the prize in a game.

Then again... she could open the door.

Rose could walk through the door into the bedroom and hold his hand, tell him that it would all be all right, and that she intended to stay by his side until morning.

What then?

Would they live happily ever after?

There was no erasing the lies spoken between them – hers and his – or the way he'd treated her. If he'd acted out because he resented the fact she didn't remember him after so many years, or if it had been a bid to gain her attention like they were still in pre-school, then they'd never be able to have a relationship. Rose couldn't be with someone who kept looking back when she was so desperate to move forwards and get away from the past that had defined her – the family name that determined the course of the rest of her life.

Her gaze rested on the door handle; this choice would decide their future together.

The cool night air was refreshing on Rose's skin at the roadside tent where she poured soju shots and knocked them back in rapid succession. Two green bottles sat empty beside her and the third was so low that the woman running the stall brought another for her. Rose was fast running out of the thousand-won notes she'd withdrawn from the ATM on the way to the stand and knew it was only a matter of time before she had to move on.

Deok-su had been apprehensive about taking over at Tae-won's apartment despite Rose reminding him that it was his job to ensure his client was kept in the best possible health. The only good thing about his arrival had been that he'd brought a phone stocked with telephone numbers. Rose had called Yuta immediately to let him know where she was headed so Hitomi wouldn't call in a military search party, promised to get a new phone the next day when the stores opened, and had then called in some emergency company that was yet to materialise.

Every step she'd taken away from the apartment had made Rose feel physically sick; the idea of leaving Tae-won there when he'd reached out for her so desperately broke her heart. He told her to stop running and she'd done just that; fled as far as she could to drink her troubles away.

Just as she contemplated returning to his side, a shadow cast by a nearby streetlamp fell over the table. The man to whom it belonged asked, 'Did you forget how terrible I am with alcohol?'

Rose leaned back in her seat and met Si-woo's gaze. 'The drink's for me. You're just here to get me home in one piece.'

'And I thought you just missed me.' Rose tried to smile but her mouth refused to break the sorrowful frown which had taken up residence upon them since the apartment door had closed behind her. The expression wasn't lost on Si-woo. He pulled up the opposite chair and asked, 'Do I want to know what happened?'

'No.'

'Are you going to tell me, anyway?'

Rose poured another shot and gulped it down unceremoniously, slamming the glass back onto the table. 'Not much. I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I'm a terrible person.'

'That's not true.' Si-woo eyed the empty bottles. 'You're a drunk person, but not terrible.'

Rose snorted softly with derisive laughter. 'Right. Sure, I'm not terrible. I just left a sick person on their bed when I told them I'd stay with them, but I'm totally great.'

'Was that person Tae-won?'

'It wasn't not Tae-won?' Rose slurred.

Si-woo reached to pat her hand gently. 'Tae-won is a bad person. You're not.'

'Maybe we deserve each other.'

'You've had too much to drink,' Si-woo decided. 'You need to walk it off.'

'I just bought a fresh bottle.'

'Take it home and save it for another night.'

Rose tapped her fingernail against the sealed cap and furrowed her brow. 'No... No, I wanna drink it now.'

'Rose, this isn't a healthy way to deal with whatever's going on.'

'Nothing about what's going on is healthy.'

'Love?' he guessed far too accurately for Rose's liking. So accurately, in fact, that she spat the mouthful of soju she'd poured into her mouth back out and sprayed the face of a nearby businessman. Si-woo was quick to apologise to him in Korean and offer a napkin before he sat back in his seat and sighed at the pitiful girl who'd given up on the glass and was swigging straight from the bottle. 'Please,' he begged, 'come for a walk with me? I'm a good listener.'

'Are you good at making people fall out of love with jerk idol celebrity liar bastards who make you feel like you're special but – but they're just – you know,' Rose hiccupped and sniffled, 'liars! Why do I keep finding liars and jerks and bastards?'

'You found me, too,' Si-woo reminded her. 'Am I any of those things?'

'I don't know,' she admitted, 'are you?'

'Come and walk with me until you remember something important,' he said, standing and offering his warm, reassuring hand.

'Remember what?'

'That you are special, Rose. And you don't need Tae-won to know that.'